Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The impact of polluted water in our environment

The impact of polluted water in our environment bDPMP
Many men and women that fight for a better environment are worried about how polluted our rivers, lakes and seas are. This problem that affects the whole world is caused mainly because of the way people want to develop their countries and also because the society lacks of proper information on how dangerous the situation is and how to address the matter properly. First of all, in my point of view, one of the major sources of pollution on earth is the so called country development, which is something desired by all governments around the world. It is virtually impossible to develop a country without hurting the forests or the sea. For example, in order to built a big industry or a nuclear plant, probably thousands of trees will have to be cut off; animals also will be affected, as well as the water resources with the damage caused. The second reason why our world is dying is that we, humans, do not understand how critical this situation is, or maybe we do not want to believe so. There must have more education in terms of environment in school, colleges and universities. This is important, because the earlier we learn about how to save our land, the better. Besides the causes, it is also vital to talk about the effect of an endangered environment. Many scientists say that the quality of our water has impact not only in the sealife, but also in the humans' lives. For instance, in the past, there were inumerous oil spills on the sea which killed or thretened hundreds of animals, like birds, fishes and reptiles. However, the issue also has negative impact in our lives, because we depend on the water of the ocean and lakes to survive. Just to give an example, many workers depend on the fishing and without catching these animals they cannot earn money to survive. In conclusion, the water of our planet is in danger and that is happening for many reasons, mostly because of the human behaviour and greedy. It is time to understand that we and millions of species need a healthy environment to live and only education and understanding will help us to solve the problem.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women that fight for a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
are worried
about how polluted our rivers, lakes and seas are. This problem that affects the whole world
is caused
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the way
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
want to develop their countries and
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the society lacks of proper information on how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
the situation is and how to address the matter
properly
.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, in my point of view, one of the major sources of pollution on earth is the
It seems that a hyphen is missing.
so called
country development, which is something desired by all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
around the world. It is
virtually
impossible to develop a country without hurting the forests or the sea.
For example
, in order
Did you mean "to build"?
to built
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
industry or a nuclear plant,
probably
thousands of trees will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
off; animals
also
will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
,
as well
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
resources with the damage caused.

The second reason why our world is dying is that we, humans, do not understand how critical this situation is, or maybe we do not want to believe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
. There
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have more education in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
in school, colleges and universities. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the earlier we learn about how to save our land, the better.

Besides
the causes, it is
also
vital to talk about the effect of an endangered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
scientists say that the quality of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
has impact not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
sealife
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
in the humans'
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
For instance
, in the past, there were
Possible spelling mistake found.
inumerous
oil spills on the sea which killed or
Possible spelling mistake found.
thretened
hundreds of animals, like birds, fishes and reptiles.
However
, the issue
also
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we depend on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
of the ocean and lakes to survive.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
to give an example,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
workers depend on the fishing and without catching these animals they cannot earn money to survive.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
of our planet is in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
and
that is
happening for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons,
mostly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the human
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and greedy. It is time to understand that we and millions of species need a healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
education and understanding will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to solve the problem.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay The impact of polluted water in our environment

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
370 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts