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Nowadays people get married and have children after the age of 30. Why does this happen? What are some negative impacts of this development?

Nowadays people get married and have children after the age of 30. Why does this happen? What are some negative impacts of this development? j5YM1
These days, people are mostly getting married after the age of 30. As far as I am concerned, there has been a highly problematic issue and this raises the question related to its sources and consequences. Therefore, some major causes and effects will be addressed in the following paragraphs. To begin with, two main reasons are causing the issue of getting married late. First of all, more women than ever are following their passions and even becoming the breadwinners of the household. Many of the career ambitions and positions require extensive travel and long work hours, so women give themselves permission to focus on building themselves in their current profession, and postponing marriage and raising a family for later in life. In addition, both men and women understand that financial stability is especially important for a happy marriage. Because when getting married, having a separate home and having children is inevitable. Therefore, stable finances will help couples have an easier life and take care of their children more fully. However, the negative aspect is more dangerous. One of the biggest problems that ladies face after getting married at an advanced age is the risk of infertility. This is a very common scenario among the working women who are highly ambitious and want to be successful in their lives. In conclusion, though the positive side of marrying late is certainly evident, the negative impacts are more alarming and therefore they cannot be ignored. I strongly believe that such developments are negative for society. Therefore, governments should enhance people’s awareness in terms of getting married early to avoid this situation.
These days,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
mostly
getting married after the age of 30. As far as I
am concerned
, there has been a
highly
problematic issue and this raises the question related to its sources and consequences.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
major causes and effects will
be addressed
in the following paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, two main reasons are causing the issue of getting married late.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
than ever are following their passions and even becoming the breadwinners of the household.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of the career ambitions and positions require extensive travel and long work hours,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
give themselves permission to focus on building themselves in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
profession, and postponing marriage and raising a family for later in life.
In addition
, both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
understand that financial stability is
especially
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for a happy marriage.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
when getting married, having a separate home and having children is inevitable.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Therefore
, stable finances will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
couples have an easier life and take care of their children more
fully
.

However
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspect is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
. One of the biggest problems that ladies face after getting married at an advanced age is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of infertility. This is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common scenario among the working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
who are
highly
ambitious and want to be successful in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

In conclusion
, though the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side of marrying late is
certainly
evident, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts are more alarming and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
therefore
they cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
. I
strongly
believe that such developments are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
for society.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should enhance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s awareness in terms of getting married early to avoid this situation.
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IELTS essay Nowadays people get married and have children after the age of 30. Why does this happen? What are some negative impacts of this development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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