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The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing.

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Nr8Ly
Nowadays More and more entrepreneurs open online shops that is believed could cause the all stores closes. I think that is will be definitely so. First of all living in a high competitive world make people work overtime and harder than ever before. Now they have less free time what they would not like to waste on shopping. So that way people prefer purchase products online than offline. As it is not need the physical presence in the shops it helps save at least two hours that they could spend with their family or for something more important to them. Secondly there are no a lot of different shopping malls in small towns, so there is no a big variety of the goods and specific products, especially if something customized is required. Thus the online shopping becomes the only way how citizens could fulfill their needs in food, clothing, cosmetics etc. also purchasing goods in the Internet can help to buy the product on the best price, as it is possible to compare the costs on various sites. Summary, I want to say that the online shopping have completely changed our lives, it helps us save our precious time and money, deepen the horizons of the purchasing possibilities. We should meet this change as an opportunity for ease our every day routine that would help us to become better people.
Nowadays More and more entrepreneurs open
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shops that
is believed
could cause the all stores closes. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
Please check whether one of these words is redundant.
is will
be definitely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
living in a high competitive world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
work overtime and harder than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
they have less free time what they would not like to waste on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
.
“So that” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
So that
way
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
products
Use "onliner" to make a comparison with this adjective.
online
than offline. As it is not
Consider using a past participle here: "needed".
need
the physical presence in the shops it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
save at least two hours that they could spend with their family or for something more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to them.

Secondly
there are
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
no
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
malls in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
towns,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
there is
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
no
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
variety of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and specific products,
especially
if something customized
is required
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
becomes the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way how citizens could fulfill their needs in food, clothing, cosmetics etc.
also
purchasing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
The usual collocation for technology is "on," not "in." It is better to say this: "on the Internet".
in the Internet
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the product on the best price, as it is possible to compare the costs on various sites.

Summary, I want to say that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
have completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
us save our precious time and money, deepen the horizons of the purchasing possibilities. We should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
as an opportunity for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
our every day routine that would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
us to become better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
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IELTS essay The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
230 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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