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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is better for children to choose jobs that are similar to their parents’ jobs than to choose jobs that are very different from their parents’ job.

It is better for children to choose jobs that are similar to their parents’ jobs than to choose jobs that are very different from their parents’ job. WyE6W
The selection of jobs is a very crucial and critical task in our lives as it may help us achieve our dreams and an ideal lifestyle. Some people may say that it is better for children to choose jobs that are similar to their parents while others oppose this view. However, I think it is wiser for children to choose a job that differs from their parents’ job. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay. To begin with, children may never learn how to perform independently in their career if they follow their parents’ footsteps entirely with their parents facilitating them. Children who aim to work in the same vocation as their parents are neither required to think for and plan about their own future, nor will they learn from stumbling over obstacles on their way since children are less likely to make mistakes when parents are always guiding them, consequently resulting in fewer opportunities to learn from their mistakes. Because of this, children will develop a habit of constantly relying on other people to do their job instead of working on their own. The result of being over-dependent is that children may lose self-value and self-esteem, furthermore, judge themselves as useless beings. One that did the same job as their parent may have great achievements, yet none of them is accomplished by themselves. For instance, we wouldn’t learn to fix our own repair our own home if there always is a handyman nearby. We wouldn’t acquire cooking skills if someone else prepares food for us. Similarly, children wouldn’t learn as many skills and achieve as many things as if they walked on the road of their own life themselves, which in the future make them see themselves as useless failures, finally messing their job up. Whereas when a child would feel more motivated when they learned to do new things independently, consequently inspiring them to do better in their job. Secondly, children may feel extremely pressured if they work in the same field as their parents, furthermore messing up the family bond and relationship. It is natural for parents to wish them to be more successful than themselves and entrust their unaccomplished dreams to their children if they work in a job that is similar to their parents. Consequently, parents will keep a close eye on their children and leave them with almost no freedom of exploring their own interests moreover doing anything unrelated to their occupation. Due to this, children may feel rancorous towards their parents for taking over their life, developing a rebellious mentality, and finally consider the whole family as their enemy. For example, people, especially youngsters, often feel tired of parents telling them how to behave. As a consequence, an intense relationship between them and their parents will be developed, which makes teens wanting to escape the family, moreover causing them to fail at school. However, on the other hand, children who aren’t pressured by their parents and has more freedom of self-choice will trust their family strongly, leading to a secure family connection, causing them to feel content and relaxed knowing that their family support them all times. To sum everything up, I believe that children benefit more from a job that is dissimilar to their parents. Because this way they can become more motivated in their career by being independent and also living a happier life with a strong family relationship.
The selection of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial and critical task in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
as it may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us achieve our dreams and an ideal lifestyle.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may say that it is better for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
that are similar to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
while others oppose this view.
However
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is wiser for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to choose a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
that differs from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may never
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
how to perform
independently
in their career if they follow their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents’
footsteps
entirely
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
facilitating them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
who aim to work in the same vocation as their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are neither required to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
for and plan about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
future, nor will they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
from stumbling over obstacles on their way since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are less likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
mistakes when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are always guiding them,
consequently
resulting in fewer opportunities to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
from their mistakes.
Because of this
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will develop a habit of
constantly
relying on other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to do their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
instead
of working on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. The result of being over-dependent is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may lose self-value and self-esteem,
furthermore
, judge themselves as useless beings. One that did the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
as their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
may have great achievements,
yet
none of them
is accomplished
by themselves.
For instance
, we wouldn’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
repair our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
home if there always is a handyman nearby. We wouldn’t acquire cooking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
if someone else prepares food for us.
Similarly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
wouldn’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and achieve as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things as if they walked on the road of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
life themselves, which in the future
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
themselves as useless failures,
finally
messing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
up. Whereas when a child would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
more motivated when they learned to do new things
independently
,
consequently
inspiring them to do better in their job.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
extremely
pressured if they work in the same field as their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
,
furthermore
messing up the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
bond and relationship. It is natural for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to wish them to be more successful than themselves and entrust their unaccomplished dreams to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
if they work in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
that is
similar to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
a close eye on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
them with almost no freedom of exploring their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
interests
moreover
doing anything unrelated to their occupation. Due to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
rancorous towards their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
for taking over their life, developing a rebellious mentality, and
finally
consider the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
as their enemy.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
especially
youngsters,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
tired of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
telling them how to behave. As a consequence, an intense relationship between them and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
will
be developed
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
teens wanting to escape the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
,
moreover
causing them to fail at school.
However
,
on the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who aren’t pressured by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and has more freedom of self-choice will trust their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
strongly
, leading to a secure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
connection, causing them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
content and relaxed knowing that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
support them all times.

To sum everything up, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
benefit more from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
that is
dissimilar to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
this way they can become more motivated in their career by being independent and
also
living a happier life with a strong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
relationship.
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IELTS essay It is better for children to choose jobs that are similar to their parents’ jobs than to choose jobs that are very different from their parents’ job.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
576 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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