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advantages of academic and vocational streams of study for students and society

advantages of academic and vocational streams of study for students and society 2wkb
Drawing a fine line between the two streams, academic and vocational, for high school means that students at the age of fifteen need to be sure of what they want to achieve in their professional career. The academic stream would typically be for those who want to pursue their graduate studies in college or university, and the students who wish to pursue a skill-based career would typically choose the vocational stream. In my opinion, students and society, both, could benefit from providing the two main streams at high school. There are two main advantages for students. Firstly, students become very ambitious. In order to choose a stream, students would have to know what they wish to be in future at a very young age. Most successful people around the world have been working to become what they are today, very early on in their life. Secondly, the skilled workforce would have been training from a young age when their brains are still developing and this in turn could affect the quality of work for the better. Moreover, students would be able to meet peers who have similar interests and develop a special bond over time. Lastly, providing two streams gives students an extra career path to choose from and allows them to chase their dreams. Having two streams to choose from in high school could be advantageous to the society as well. When we train and nurture young talents, we encourage them to pursue what they wish to and to have a very dynamic thought process. The more doors we open up, the more talents we discover. This in turn gives back to society as young people, are indeed the future. In my high school days, I did not have the option of choosing vocational training. No matter what you want to become in life, it was compulsory for every student had to pursue their academic career until high school. However, as technology is advancing like never before, we are in need of new talents. Many job opportunities have opened up so it would be necessary to provide such options to students. Thus, I truly believe that countries that do offer the vocational stream is forward looking and because it is so beneficial to both students and society, I hope that other countries also do the same and give students this option.
Drawing a fine line between the two
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streams
, academic and vocational, for
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high
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school
means that
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students
at the age of fifteen need to be sure of what they want to achieve in their professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
. The academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stream
would
typically
be for those who want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pursue
their graduate studies in college or university, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who wish to
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pursue
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
-based
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career
would
typically
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choose
the vocational stream.

In my opinion,
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students
and
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society
, both, could benefit from providing the two main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
streams
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. There are two main advantages for
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students
.
Firstly
,
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students
become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
ambitious. In order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stream
,
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students
would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
know what they wish to be in future at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
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young
age. Most successful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around the world have been working to become what they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
,
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very
early on in their life.

Secondly
, the skilled workforce would have been training from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
age when their brains are
still
developing and this in turn could affect the quality of work for the better.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
would be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
peers who have similar interests and develop a special bond over time.
Lastly
, providing two
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streams
gives
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students
an extra
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career
path to
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choose
from and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to chase their dreams.

Having two
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streams
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
from in
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high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
could be advantageous to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
as well
. When we train and nurture
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
talents, we encourage them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pursue
what they wish to and to have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
dynamic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
process. The more doors we open up, the more talents we discover. This in turn gives back to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, are
indeed
the future.

In my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
days, I did not have the option of choosing vocational training. No matter what you want to become in life, it was compulsory for every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
had to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pursue
their academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
until
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
However
, as technology is advancing like never
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, we are in need of new talents.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
job opportunities have opened up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it would be necessary to provide such options to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Thus
, I
truly
believe that countries that do offer the vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stream
is
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
forward looking
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
beneficial to both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, I hope that other countries
also
do the same and give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
this option.
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IELTS essay advantages of academic and vocational streams of study for students and society

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
392 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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