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The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think the best way to deal with the problems is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think the best way to deal with the problems is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. yqkd
One of the biggest challenges, now a days being faced by the health care system is the increase of obese people. Although I agree that increasing more recreational activities in school time plays an important role, I think that creating awareness on obesity and staying fit as part of academic studies may also help to understand the causes and solutions to it. On the one hand, the schools should definitely allocate more time for physical education to save the younger generation towards health problems such as obesity. Recreational activities mostly outdoor such as Basketball, volleyball, cricket and Indoor such as table tennis, shall be taken into consideration, to burn more calories and stay healthy and fit. For instance, tournaments shall be held in schools and the weight limit criteria for participating shall be introduced. So that the people keep themselves in the limit allowed. On the other hand, it should be noted that the daily enhancements in their regular studies and associated assignments, which is also crucial, takes over all the time leaving few leisure hours. Spending most of the time on physical education may lead to slowing down in academics though, including the overweight causes in academics may alter their schedule and could also let them monitor and manage themselves between academics and curricular activities to stay fit and healthy. For example, a 30 mins morning walk can help people to stay fit without disturbing their academic schedule. To conclude, though I agree that extra-curricular activities as part of school curriculum is very important and plays a vital role in staying away from being fatty and chubby like problems, I think that academics are also crucial for future.
One of the biggest challenges,
now a days
being faced
by the health care system is the increase of obese
people
. Although I
agree
that increasing more recreational
activities
in
school
time
plays an
important
role, I
think
that creating awareness on obesity and staying
fit
as part of
academic
studies may
also
help
to understand the causes and solutions to it.

On the one hand, the
schools
should definitely allocate more
time
for physical education to save the younger generation towards health problems such as obesity. Recreational
activities
mostly
outdoor such as Basketball, volleyball, cricket and Indoor such as table tennis, shall
be taken
into consideration, to burn more calories and stay healthy and
fit
.
For instance
, tournaments shall
be held
in
schools
and the weight limit criteria for participating shall
be introduced
.
So that
the
people
keep
themselves in the limit
allowed
.

On the other hand
, it should
be noted
that the daily enhancements in their regular studies and associated assignments, which is
also
crucial, takes over all the
time
leaving few leisure hours. Spending most of the
time
on physical education may lead to slowing down in
academics
though, including the overweight causes in
academics
may alter their schedule and could
also
let
them monitor and manage themselves between
academics
and curricular
activities
to stay
fit
and healthy.
For example
, a 30
mins
morning walk can
help
people
to stay
fit
without disturbing their
academic
schedule.

To conclude
, though I
agree
that extra-curricular
activities
as part of
school
curriculum is
very
important
and plays a vital role in staying away from being fatty and chubby like problems, I
think
that
academics
are
also
crucial for future.
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IELTS essay The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think the best way to deal with the problems is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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