Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The graphs below show the post-school qualifications held by Australians in the age groups 25 to 34 and 55 to 69. v.1

The graphs below show the post-school qualifications held by Australians in the age groups 25 to 34 and 55 to 69. v. 1
These days, as the result of advances in science and technology, there are more and more varieties of new products being available to consumers. Although these products assist consumers in many parts of life, the ever-increasing quantities of manufacturing them have been condemned as a reason that lead to environment degradation. There are a number of reasons why the over-producing of consumer goods is attributed to deteriorating the natural environment. To begin with, the huge population has increased the demand for various products and therefore new factories and industries are being established each day to meet the demand. This trend has been conducive to not only the excessive exploitation, but also the uncontrolled pollution of the natural resources. In fact, a large quantity of forests have been destroyed to provide materials and also numerous lands are being contaminated as a consequence of being used to build an overwhelming number of factories and also to bury rubbish. In addition, the quickening tempo of modern lifestyle contributes to the rubbish increase because many people prefer takeaway fast food and the use of throwaway items for the convenience’s sake. Consequently, various creatures living either in the water or on the land, such as turtles, birds or even dogs are in danger OF being trapped by imperishable rubbish. To solve this crisis, both governments and individuals can take some serious measures. First, public activities should be organised to promote the awareness of environment protection. For example, educating people to be frugal while purchasing goods is necessary as this is of considerable help in reducing the production. Second, THE government should strengthen monitoring, evaluation to ensure rigorous implementation of the environmental policies. They can, for instance, set up laws and strictly punish the factories that dump their waste directly into the air and watercourses. In conclusion, it is inevitable that the higher pressure of population and over-industrialization lead to large scale of consumer goods production along with ruining the natural environment. Nonetheless, this pressing situation is expected to turn well if governments, corporations and individuals can take steps to make the necessary changes having a significant impact on our future.
These days, as the result of advances in science and technology, there are more and more varieties of new products being available to
consumers
. Although these products assist
consumers
in
many
parts of life, the ever-increasing quantities of manufacturing them have
been condemned
as a reason that lead to
environment
degradation.

There are a number of reasons why the over-producing of
consumer
goods
is attributed
to deteriorating the natural
environment
. To
begin
with, the huge population has increased the demand for various products and
therefore
new factories and industries are
being established
each day to
meet
the demand. This trend has been conducive to not
only
the excessive exploitation,
but
also
the uncontrolled pollution of the natural resources. In fact, a large quantity of forests have been
destroyed
to provide materials and
also
numerous lands are
being contaminated
as a consequence of being
used
to build an overwhelming number of factories and
also
to bury rubbish.
In addition
, the quickening tempo of modern lifestyle contributes to the rubbish increase
because
many
people
prefer takeaway
fast
food and the
use
of throwaway items for the convenience’s sake.
Consequently
, various creatures living either in the water or on the land, such as turtles, birds or even dogs are in
danger
OF
being trapped
by imperishable rubbish.

To solve this crisis, both
governments
and individuals can take
some
serious measures.
First
, public activities should be
organised
to promote the awareness of
environment
protection.
For example
, educating
people
to be frugal while purchasing
goods
is necessary as this is of considerable
help
in reducing the production. Second, THE
government
should strengthen monitoring, evaluation to ensure rigorous implementation of the environmental policies. They can,
for instance
, set up laws and
strictly
punish the factories that dump their waste
directly
into the air and watercourses.

In conclusion
, it is inevitable that the higher pressure of population and over-industrialization lead to large scale of
consumer
goods
production along with ruining the natural
environment
. Nonetheless, this pressing situation is
expected
to turn well if
governments
, corporations and individuals can take steps to
make
the necessary
changes
having a significant impact on our future.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The graphs below show the post-school qualifications held by Australians in the age groups 25 to 34 and 55 to 69. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
355 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts