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The graph show the saving of individual in different countries for the year 1970, 1990 and 2000. pie chart v.1

The graph show the saving of individual in different countries for the year 1970, 1990 and 2000. pie chart v. 1
Being healthy is very important in once life. There can be different ways of making the life healthier like a segment of people think that exercise is key to be healthier and other thinks diet plays a crucial part in being more fit. From my side, both things play simultaneous roles to become healthy and active in life. In further paragraph, I intend to discuss both the view points and then given my opinion. On one side, many think exercise is important to remain healthy and to greater extend it is beneficial. From the current work routine people had to sit or stand for hours in the workplace. Due to which they're walking time is reduced and can lead to health issues like back problems, hump and much more. So to overcome such problems exercise routine should be followed. Before going to work, go for a walk or gym, or try doing yoga or other home exercise. Through this individual to become more active and can concentrate better in their jobs. In present time exercise is must for all age group people due to their lifestyles. On the other side, the mass of people think that diet plays vital role in maintaining the body. Nowadays younger generation tends to eat more junk food which is the main cause of the deadly disease like obesity, diabetes, cardiovascular problems, etc. To resolve such issues people should start taking low calorie food. These days, many new diet charts come in market in which Keaton diet is trending, which had helped people to reduce their weight to get extend. In fact, now people started understanding the importance of food items and reduced the intake of cheesy and oily items. In the conclusion, I would like to pen down, saying that, strict routine for exercise and diet should be followed to maintain the health of the body. Exercise is important to change the form of the body and a healthy diet is required to get essential nutrients, which helps a person to stay active and fit.
Being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in once life. There can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways of making the life healthier like a segment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
is key to be healthier and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thinks
diet plays a crucial part in being more fit. From my side, both things play simultaneous roles to become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
and active in life. In
further
paragraph, I intend to discuss both the view points and then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
my opinion.

On one side,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to remain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
and to greater extend it is beneficial. From the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
work routine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had to sit or stand for hours in the workplace. Due to which they're walking time is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
and can lead to health issues like back problems, hump and much more.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
to overcome such problems
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
routine should
be followed
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
going to work, go for a walk or gym, or try doing yoga or other home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
. Through this individual to become more active and can concentrate better in their jobs. In present time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
for all age group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
due to their lifestyles.

On the other side, the mass of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that diet plays vital role in maintaining the body. Nowadays younger generation tends to eat more junk food which is the main cause of the deadly disease like obesity, diabetes, cardiovascular problems, etc. To resolve such issues
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
taking low calorie food. These days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
new diet charts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
in market in which Keaton diet is trending, which had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their weight to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
extend. In fact,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
understanding the importance of food items and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the intake of cheesy and oily items.

In the conclusion, I would like to pen down, saying that, strict routine for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
and diet should
be followed
to maintain the health of the body.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Exercise
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the form of the body and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
diet
is required
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
essential nutrients, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
a person to stay active and fit.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The graph show the saving of individual in different countries for the year 1970, 1990 and 2000. pie chart v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
341 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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