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pie chart show female and male fitness membersship between 1970 and 2000. womenmen197010002000197520004000198018002700198528001800199020502000199528005000200020001000 v.1

pie chart show female and male fitness membersship between 1970 and 2000. womenmen197010002000197520004000198018002700198528001800199020502000199528005000200020001000 v. 1
Over the last half-century, there has been a dramatic increase in the number of vehicles. This has resulted in numerous traffic jams especially in the big cities and consequently, high levels of air pollution. Although, there are those who believe that increasing oil prices might help solve this problem. I am strongly inclined to believe that higher petrol prices will have serious drawbacks on our society. Firstly, oil and gas play a fundamental role in the industry, since most of the heavy machinery used in different industries are operated by petrol. For example, a recent study conducted in Japan has revealed that the nearly 80% of all businesses are sensitive to the price of petrol. In addition, higher prices of petrol will indirectly influence the prices of the various goods in the market through increasing the cost of their transportation. Lastly, this will burden the people and limit their freedom to travel to enjoy their leisure time. Undoubtedly, the growth of oil and gas prices will create new problems. On the other hand, there are some other ways to tackle traffic and pollutions problem in cities. To begin with, improving methods of public transportation as well as the increase in their availability everywhere around the clock, will significantly reduce the use of private cars. To illustrate, a recent study published in Canada has shown that the upward trend in the various means of public transportation such as buses and trains resulted in decrease the number of traffic jams and road accidents by around 25%. Moreover, the government should invest more on repairing and maintaining roads as well as constructing new roads to solve the problem and traffic congestion. Furthermore, the scientists should search for the sources of clean energy such as solar power and nuclear power to replace the fossil fuel. To sum up, it can be clearly seen that the cons of increasing petrol prices outweigh the pros hence I am strongly against the idea of increasing gasoline prices. Government and scientists can prevent the situation from further deterioration through new mobility solutions and innovation in renewable energy.
Over the last half-century, there has been a dramatic increase in the number of vehicles. This has resulted in numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jams
especially
in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities and
consequently
, high levels of air pollution.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, there are those who believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
oil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
solve this problem. I am
strongly
inclined to believe that higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
petrol
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
will have serious drawbacks on our society.

Firstly
, oil and gas play a fundamental role in the industry, since most of the heavy machinery
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
industries
are operated
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
petrol
.
For example
, a recent study conducted in Japan has revealed that the
nearly
80% of all businesses are sensitive to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
petrol
.
In addition
, higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
petrol
will
indirectly
influence the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
of the various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
in the market through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
the cost of their transportation.
Lastly
, this will burden the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and limit their freedom to travel to enjoy their leisure time.
Undoubtedly
, the growth of oil and gas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
will create new problems.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other ways to tackle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
and pollutions problem in cities. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, improving methods of public transportation
as well
as the increase in their availability everywhere around the clock, will
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of private cars. To illustrate, a recent study published in Canada has shown that the upward trend in the various means of public transportation such as buses and trains resulted in decrease the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jams and road accidents by around 25%.
Moreover
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should invest more on repairing and maintaining roads
as well
as constructing new roads to solve the problem and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestion.
Furthermore
, the scientists should search for the sources of clean energy such as solar power and nuclear power to replace the fossil fuel.

To sum up, it can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the cons of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
petrol
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
outweigh the pros
hence
I am
strongly
against the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
gasoline
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
and scientists can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the situation from
further
deterioration through new mobility solutions and innovation in renewable energy.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay pie chart show female and male fitness membersship between 1970 and 2000. womenmen197010002000197520004000198018002700198528001800199020502000199528005000200020001000 v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
349 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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