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The graph and table below shows the changes in the number of overseas visitors and top 5 visitor countries to Britain I 2004 and 2005. Summarize the following information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. v.1

The graph and table below shows the changes in the number of overseas visitors and top 5 visitor countries to Britain I 2004 and 2005. Summarize the following information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. v. 1
It is well known fact that the world is a becoming smaller rather than in the last few decades. More and more and individuals travel from one place to another place for approaching the in depth of knowledge or other personal purposes. In this way it is required to depart foreign nation to learn about other countries of language, culture, lifestyle and many more. While other people reckon that technology is manufacturing many resources for the information such tv and the internet, due to these resources are not necessary to travel abroad because the masses can get knowledge just sitting at the home. I will discuss both the view points and add my opinion in the upcoming paragraphs. To begin with, those people who claim that travel to abroad for learning something is necessary. First of all, we know very well, man is a social animal. He or she wants to travel for learning the language, culture, traditions, food, lifestyle and many more. They can enhance their knowledge while travelling as well as want to make new friends who be belonging to different regions. The interesting advantages of this, when people travel and after visiting the new regions. They can able to spread the information in a community, which can be useful for the society of people. In addition to it, although technology has made many features for learning other parts of the world, people can see on tv as well as internet, yet people cannot able to relish the quiet atmosphere of other nations. They do not feel real places, when they watch the place, which is known as a tourist attraction on TV and the internet. However, some argue that sitting home is the best way for learning about the foreign place. Firstly, it is an inexpensive method for learning, as some people do not able go there. To illustrate, many people have no time for going to abroad for their life. TV and the internet are superb as compared to going abroad. They have to do many things like firstly booking tickets, then waiting and after that squander time's people. So they consider that it is not necessary to travel abroad. In conclusion, every coin has two aspects. In this way, both ways have more advantages. I think, it is necessary to go the abroad for learning and many things related to the other fragments of the earth.
It is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
known fact that the world is a becoming smaller
rather
than in the last few decades. More and more and individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
from one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
for approaching the in depth of knowledge or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
personal purposes. In this way it
is required
to depart foreign nation to learn about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries of language, culture, lifestyle and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
reckon that technology is manufacturing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
resources for the information such
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
and the internet, due to these resources are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
necessary
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the masses can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
knowledge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
sitting at the home. I will discuss both the view points and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
my opinion in the upcoming paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
something is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
necessary
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, we know
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
is a social animal. He or she wants to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
the language, culture, traditions, food, lifestyle and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more. They can enhance their knowledge while travelling as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new friends who
The verb 'belonging' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
be belonging
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
regions. The interesting advantages of this, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
and after visiting the new regions. They
Please check whether one of these words is redundant.
can able to
spread the information in a community, which can be useful for the society of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
In addition
to it, although technology has made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
features for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
parts of the world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
on
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as internet,
yet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Did you mean "cannot be able"?
cannot able
to relish the quiet atmosphere of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
nations. They do not feel real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
, when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
, which
is known
as a tourist attraction on TV and the internet.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that sitting home is the best way for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
about the foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
.
Firstly
, it is an inexpensive method for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not able go there. To illustrate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have no time for going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
for their life. TV and the internet are superb as compared to going
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things like
firstly
booking tickets, then waiting and after that squander time's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they consider that it is not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
necessary
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
abroad.

In conclusion
, every coin has two aspects. In this way, both ways have more advantages. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
necessary
to go the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things related to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
fragments of the earth.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The graph and table below shows the changes in the number of overseas visitors and top 5 visitor countries to Britain I 2004 and 2005. Summarize the following information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
401 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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