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The government’s investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

The government’s investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead. eXRV
According to some people, instead of spending/wasting money or arts or theatre, the government should focus on public services. I totally disagree with this view. In my opinion, the priority should be given to the public facilities; however, we cannot ignore arts and other creative works. To begin with, many people assert that investments in these creative activities/pursuits is a futile practice and they want their government to prioritize key public welfare sectors. For example, areas like health, education and infrastructure have a direct bearing on the development of a nation. People need good education, affordable health services and protection from any adversity. Therefore, they want their authorities to allocate more funding to these public services first. However, people who support the government’s investment in arts reckon that these creative forms are the representation of our cultural heritage. These different art forms can become means of attracting tourists from all over the world which will eventually help the domestic economy. Besides this, by opening up new art colleges, young people can pursue their interests and take different art forms such as dance, music and acting as a career. Art can also become a stress buster and help people in escaping many mental health issues. Hence, arts need the government aid for the betterment of the society and for promoting our culture. To conclude, many people oppose the government funding in arts and theatre. In my opinion, the government should strike a balance and spend adequate amounts of money on both public services and arts as both are important for society.
According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
instead
of spending/wasting money or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
or
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
. I
totally
disagree with this view. In my opinion, the priority should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
facilities;
however
, we cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
and other creative works.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
assert that investments in these creative activities/pursuits is a futile
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
practice and
they want their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to prioritize key
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
welfare sectors.
For example
, areas like health, education and infrastructure have a direct bearing on the development of a nation.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
need
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
education, affordable health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
and protection from any adversity.
Therefore
, they want their authorities to allocate more funding to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
first
.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who support the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government’s
investment in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
reckon that these creative forms are the representation of our cultural heritage. These
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
forms can become means of attracting tourists from all over the world which will
eventually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the domestic economy.
Besides
this, by opening up new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
colleges, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can pursue their interests and take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
forms such as dance, music and acting as a career.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
can
also
become a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
buster and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in escaping
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
mental health issues.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
need the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
aid for the betterment of the society and for promoting our culture.

To conclude
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
oppose the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
funding in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
. In my opinion, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should strike a balance and spend adequate amounts of money on both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
as both are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for society.
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IELTS essay The government’s investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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