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The government's investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

The government's investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead. JO9w
It is often argued that the Government should invest funds in public besides investing in arts, music and theatre as it is considered waste of money. Though I agree that the Government investment in public finance is significant, I think appropriate funding in art is also very important. Firstly, Art, theatre and music is the heritage and they are not waste of money. Art, Music and theatre enhance cultural knowledge. However, Music gives peace of mind to people. In additional, some people feel a relief doing art or watching clips. Government should provide free classes in school for this additional activity for good health, as people would feel less stressful and burdened. These activities are very valuable source of learning. On the other hand, Government should partially distribute the fund in public finance as it is the primary need of every individual. The Government must invest on road, Hospital and schools the particular reason of the circumstances is that people could not live without medicines and hospitals. However, proper hospital is the main essential and proper roads for better living. Furthermore, advanced school would be beneficial for the future. In conclusion, I believe that government should invest the fund for public needs as they the very important but as well as arts, music and theater is also a source of entertainment and play a vital role in ones life.
It is
often
argued that the
Government
should invest funds in
public
besides
investing in
arts
,
music
and
theatre
as it
is considered
waste of money. Though I
agree
that the
Government
investment in
public
finance is significant, I
think
appropriate funding in
art
is
also
very
important
.

Firstly
,
Art
,
theatre
and
music
is the
heritage and
they are not waste of money.
Art
,
Music
and
theatre
enhance cultural knowledge.
However
,
Music
gives peace of mind to
people
. In additional,
some
people
feel a relief doing
art
or watching clips.
Government
should provide free classes in school for this additional activity for
good
health, as
people
would feel less stressful and burdened. These activities are
very
valuable source of learning.

On the other hand
,
Government
should
partially
distribute the fund in
public
finance as it is the primary need of every individual. The
Government
must
invest on road, Hospital and schools the particular reason of the circumstances is that
people
could not
live
without medicines and hospitals.
However
, proper hospital is the main essential and proper roads for better living.
Furthermore
, advanced school would be beneficial for the future.

In conclusion
, I believe that
government
should invest the fund for
public
needs as they the
very
important
but
as well
as
arts
,
music
and theater is
also
a source of entertainment and play a vital role in
ones
life.
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IELTS essay The government's investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
229 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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