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The government's investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement? v.10

The government's investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead. v. 10
Worldwide, every government shows more interest in protecting their arts and culture. Some people think that the regime should focus on public services instead of spending on arts, music and theatres. I partially agree with this notion. I do not consider investing in the arts is a waste of money, but improving public services can enhance the county's growth. Nowadays, most of the people across the world are interested to learn and experience various cultures and traditions. Due to which the government spends an enormous fund in arts, music and theatre to attract tourists as they can contribute to the nation financially. For example, to compare the past few decades, Iran's GDP has increased tenfold times since they commenced investing in tourism. Thus, the regime should allocate funds for this. However, public services should be taken into account primarily. In many countries, people who are economically less fortune are struggling without proper access to learning. It is evident that, even in this modern era, a massive number of students are struggling to afford their academic expenses. So, the authorities should consider the education issue on top of others because the country's growth solely relies on the educated population. For instance, according to the survey of the Times magazine, globally, 46% of children are facing challenges to obtain proper access to universities. Hence, it is the sole responsibility of the government to provide adequate assistance to ensure educational service for students. To conclude, although it is important to invest in arts and entertainments, essential concern such as education should be given high priority. I believe, in the future, the bureaucracy would give utmost importance to people's fundamental needs, rather than the other luxurious needs.
Worldwide, every
government
shows
more interest in protecting their
arts
and culture.
Some
people
think
that the regime should focus on public
services
instead
of spending on
arts
, music and
theatres
. I
partially
agree
with this notion. I do not consider investing in the
arts
is a waste of money,
but
improving public
services
can enhance the county's growth.

Nowadays, most of the
people
across the world
are interested
to learn and experience various cultures and traditions. Due to which the
government
spends an enormous fund in
arts
, music and
theatre
to attract tourists as they can contribute to the nation
financially
.
For example
, to compare the past few decades, Iran's GDP has increased tenfold times since they commenced investing in tourism.
Thus
, the regime should allocate funds for this.

However
, public
services
should
be taken
into account
primarily
. In
many
countries,
people
who are
economically
less fortune are struggling without proper access to learning. It is evident that, even in this modern era, a massive number of students are struggling to afford their academic expenses.
So
, the authorities should consider the education issue on top of others
because
the country's growth
solely
relies on the educated population.
For instance
, according to the survey of the Times magazine, globally, 46% of children are facing challenges to obtain proper access to universities.
Hence
, it is the sole responsibility of the
government
to provide adequate assistance to ensure educational
service
for students.

To conclude
, although it is
important
to invest in
arts
and entertainments, essential concern such as education should be
given
high priority. I believe, in the future, the bureaucracy would give utmost importance to
people
's fundamental needs,
rather
than the other luxurious needs.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay The government's investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead. v. 10

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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