Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The governments in developing countries should focus more on improvement of local economy (new hotels and factories) rather than on providing services for local people (education and health). To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The governments in developing countries should focus more on improvement of local economy (new hotels and factories) rather than on providing services for local people (education and health). with this statement? E9peQ
Each country may have a specific policy in investing money. it is suggested that governments pay much attention to fostering the economy, by spending more money on hotels and factories, more than health and education services. I disagree with this strategy. On the one hand, it is undeniable that economic growth should be one of the government's priorities. Helping local factories can result in economic growth by providing job opportunities for citizens. Also if they were equipped with cutting-edge technologies, they could produce high-quality goods and be the source of revenue for the government by exporting them overseas. Moreover, beyond providing jobs for locals, well-equipped hotels can attract tourists from all over the world. Hotels can provide pamphlets and aware tourists about local potential and projects and thereby encouraging them to invest money there, which not only enters currency to the country but also provides more jobs. The money received from export or tourism can help the government to offer better services to people. Thus, since a powerful economy can result in government finance improvement and thereby rising people’s standards of living, it should be considered important. On the other hand, providing the proper level of services is one of the government's important responsibilities. Firstly, educated and healthy people are necessary for economic growth. These people are those who work in factories and hotels. People with a low level of health cannot be productive staff. Also producing high-quality productions or running fascinating projects that persuade foreigners to invest in them are quite impossible without educated people. Secondly, when people pay taxes, they expect the government to spend this money on offering better services for them. If the government does not live up to citizens’ expectations and spends their taxes on the other sections, this can gradually lead to increasing criticizing of them. Increasing people’s dissatisfaction can lead to riots and chaos in the society which can not only close factories but also make the county unsafe for tourists and thereby harm the economy. Hence, since economic prosperity stems from an appropriate level of education and health, their importance should be taken seriously. To sum up, the income that earns from a dynamic economy can spend on improving services for locals and a powerful economy requires educated and healthy people. So, I believe governors should try to improve the economy as much as provide better services for people. Therefore, both of them are equally important and none of them has priority over the other one.
Each country may have a specific policy in investing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is suggested
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
pay much attention to fostering the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
, by spending more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hotels
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factories
, more than health and education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
. I disagree with this strategy.

On the one hand, it is undeniable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
growth should be one of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
's priorities. Helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factories
can result in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
growth by providing job opportunities for citizens.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
if they
were equipped
with cutting-edge technologies, they could produce high-quality
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and be the source of revenue for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
by exporting them overseas.
Moreover
, beyond providing jobs for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
, well-equipped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hotels
can attract tourists from all over the world.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Hotels
can provide pamphlets and aware tourists about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
potential and projects and thereby encouraging them to invest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
there, which not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
enters currency to the country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
provides more jobs. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
received from export or tourism can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to offer better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Thus
, since a powerful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
can result in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
finance improvement and thereby rising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
standards of living, it should
be considered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

On the other hand
, providing the proper level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
is one of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
responsibilities.
Firstly
, educated and healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are necessary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
growth. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are those who work in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factories
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hotels
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
with a low level of health cannot be productive staff.
Also
producing high-quality productions or running fascinating projects that persuade foreigners to invest in them are quite impossible without educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Secondly
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
pay taxes, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to spend this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on offering better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
for them. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
up to citizens’ expectations and spends their taxes on the other sections, this can
gradually
lead to increasing criticizing of them. Increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
dissatisfaction can lead to riots and chaos in the society which can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
close
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factories
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the county unsafe for tourists and thereby harm the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
.
Hence
, since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
prosperity stems from an appropriate level of education and health, their importance should
be taken
seriously
.

To sum up, the income that earns from a dynamic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
can spend on improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
and a powerful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
requires
"requires educated" is only accepted in certain dialects. For something more widely acceptable, try "educating" or "to be educated".
educated
and healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I believe governors should try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
as much as provide better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Therefore
, both of them are
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and none of them has priority over the other one.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay The governments in developing countries should focus more on improvement of local economy (new hotels and factories) rather than on providing services for local people (education and health). with this statement?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
414 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • The governments in developing countries should focus more on improvement of local economy (new hotels and factories) rather than on providing services for local people (education and health). To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?