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The government spends about £220 million a year supporting museums and galleries in the UK, and a similar amount subsidising the visual and performing arts. This is a huge sum to spend on minority interests, and the money would be better spent on more important things. It should be up to the people who enjoy cultural attractions to pay for them. What are your views?

The government spends about £220 million a year supporting museums and galleries in the UK, and a similar amount subsidising the visual and performing arts. This is a huge sum to spend on minority interests, and the money would be better spent on more important things. It should be up to the people who enjoy cultural attractions to pay for them. What are your views? X2E8
Many people would disagree that UK government use an excessive amount of money on arts and culture, but I strongly agree that the government should pay for on cultural expenditure. To begin with, cultural industry boosts the tourism and economy. Learning new culture is one of the important reasons for people to travel. It is very important to show the best image to visitors. So, the government should take the responsibility to pay for it and it is worth spending. In fact, Tourists are not only spending on visiting places, and they are also spending on food, accommodation and transportation. As a result, it improves government revenues. It also creates many job opportunities for the country. British museum is a successful example. It is a well-known museum in London and attracts millions of visitors every year. It is also the landmark of London. Therefore, it brings positive impacts to the whole country. Alternatively, some people think that the government spend too much on cultural industry and it is a small group of people. They believe that people should pay more if they are interest on it. However, culture is a part of national identity. Everyone has equal opportunity to know it. If it is costly on entrance fee and tickets, people will lose the opportunity to learn it. Moreover, many organisations cannot operate as they do not have enough fund. Consequently, some culture may disappear and it cannot appear again. Hence, it is necessary for the government to support the industry. To conclude with, although the expenditure is massive on cultural industry, it is worth for the government to pay for it. It helps the economy and preserve national identity.
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Many
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people
would disagree that UK
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government
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use
an excessive amount of money on arts and
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culture
,
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but
I
strongly
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agree
that the
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government
should
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pay
for on
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cultural
expenditure.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
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cultural
industry boosts the tourism and economy. Learning new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
is one of the
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important
reasons for
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people
to travel. It is
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very
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important
to
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show
the best image to visitors.
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So
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should take the responsibility to
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pay
for it and it is worth spending. In fact, Tourists are not
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only
spending on visiting places, and they are
also
spending on food, accommodation and transportation.
As a result
, it
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improves
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government
revenues. It
also
creates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
job opportunities for the country. British museum is a successful example. It is a well-known museum in London and attracts millions of visitors every year. It is
also
the landmark of London.
Therefore
, it brings
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positive
impacts to the whole country.

Alternatively
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
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government
spend too much on
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cultural
industry and it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
group of
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people
. They believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
more if they are interest on it.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
is a part of national identity. Everyone has equal opportunity to know it. If it is costly on entrance fee and tickets,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will lose the opportunity to learn it.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
cannot operate as they do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
fund.
Consequently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
may disappear and it cannot appear again.
Hence
, it is necessary for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to support the industry.

To conclude
with, although the expenditure is massive on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
industry, it is worth for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
for it. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the economy and preserve national identity.

IELTS essay The government spends about £220 million a year supporting museums and galleries in the UK, and a similar amount subsidising the visual and performing arts. This is a huge sum to spend on minority interests, and the money would be better spent on more important things. It should be up to the people who enjoy cultural attractions to pay for them. What are your views?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • The government spends about £220 million a year supporting museums and galleries in the UK, and a similar amount subsidising the visual and performing arts. This is a huge sum to spend on minority interests, and the money would be better spent on more important things. It should be up to the people who enjoy cultural attractions to pay for them. What are your views?