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the government should tax sugary drinks

the government should tax sugary drinks gD0rl
Although the huge efforts that ministry of health did last year to spread awareness of the health problems associated with over consumption of soft drinks; but, according to ministry of commerce survey statictics the number of soft drinks consumers still increasing. So the government should take more strong actions towards high sugary soft drinks. for example decrease the advertising, apply more tax on production companies and incrouge the other healther options specially in school and public places. due to that, the socity will have healthy life style and decrease the load on the helath sector.
Although the huge efforts that ministry of health did last year to spread awareness of the health problems associated with over consumption of soft drinks;
but
, according to ministry of commerce survey
statictics
the number of soft drinks consumers
still
increasing.
So
the
government
should take more strong actions towards high sugary soft drinks.
for
example decrease the advertising, apply more tax on production
companies
and
incrouge
the other
healther
options
specially
in school and public places.

due
to that, the
socity
will have healthy life style and decrease the load on the
helath
sector.
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IELTS essay the government should tax sugary drinks

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
95 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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