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The government should invest more money in teaching science than in other subjects for a country development and progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

The government should invest more money in teaching science than in other subjects for a country development and progress. v. 1
It is believed that governments budgets should be spent on providig the knowledge of science subjects to help their country develop. While I accept that an increase developments can have many benefits to nation progress, I disagree that science is the primary priority. On the one hand, there are two main reasons why it can be argued that putting an emphasis on teaching science-based subjects significantly contributes to the well-being of a country. The first reason is that a lot of scientific breakthroughs heavily depend on a tremendous number of research which involves knowledge in mathematics, physics and chemistry. However, gaining a successful reseach means having to go through a lot of previous failed studies, which requires a wealth of money to invest for laboratory equipment and scientific document. Another reason is that studying science subjects require learner’s sensible thinking and problem-solving skills, which is likely to promote their imagination and creativity. Such capabilities are of paramount importance to coming up with technological innovations, and these advancements could help a country to gain a competitive edge over other countries. On the other hand, it can be seen that the study of many other disciplines of education can also attribute to a countries progress. Firstly, in the era of globalisation, international trade plays a pivotal role in the economy of any countries and those trade activities could not be taken place if language barriers still exit. Therefore, common and universal languages should be encouraged to be taught in schools so that school leavers and graduates could have more opportunities to work in multinational enterprises. Secondly, subjects such as geography and biology equip students with knowledge or natural habitats and species, which could help them to be aware of the importance of environmentally sustainable development. It becomes clear that the growth of a country would stop and even decline if its wildlife species became extinct and natural resources were exhausted. In conclusion, although I acknowledge that the government allocating resources to teaching science subjects helps a country progress, I believe that it is also necessary for other subject to be taught.
It
is believed
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
budgets should
be spent
on
Possible spelling mistake found.
providig
the knowledge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
develop. While I accept that an increase developments can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits to nation progress, I disagree that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
is the primary priority.

On the one hand, there are two main reasons why it can
be argued
that putting an emphasis on teaching science-based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
significantly
contributes to the well-being of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. The
first
reason is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
scientific breakthroughs
heavily
depend on a tremendous number of research which involves knowledge in mathematics, physics and chemistry.
However
, gaining a successful
Possible spelling mistake found.
reseach
means having to go through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
previous failed studies, which requires a wealth of money to invest for laboratory equipment and scientific document. Another reason is that studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
require learner’s sensible thinking and problem-solving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, which is likely to promote their imagination and creativity. Such capabilities are of paramount importance to coming up with technological innovations, and these advancements could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to gain a competitive edge over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the study of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
disciplines of education can
also
attribute to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
progress.
Firstly
, in the era of
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
, international trade plays a pivotal role in the economy of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and those trade activities could not
be taken
place if language barriers
still
exit.
Therefore
, common and universal languages should
be encouraged
to
be taught
in schools
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
school leavers
and graduates could have more opportunities to work in multinational enterprises.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
such as geography and biology equip students with knowledge or natural habitats and species, which could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to be aware of the importance of
environmentally
sustainable development. It becomes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the growth of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
and even decline if its wildlife species became extinct and natural resources
were exhausted
.

In conclusion
, although I acknowledge that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
allocating resources to teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
progress, I believe that it is
also
necessary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
to
be taught
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay The government should invest more money in teaching science than in other subjects for a country development and progress. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
349 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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