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The government should help

The government should help G9KXj
Needless to say, art helps people to relieve themselves from their day-to-day work lives. A section of society believes that the government should give some association to the artists in order to foster them. While others argue. I, however, partially agree with the notion. In the given essay, I will discuss the said view and substantiate mine. To begin with, an artist needs only one important thing in the entire world which is nothing but a platform to showcase his talent. Moreover, today, there are numerous talented and extraordinary artists present in society, some of them got an opportunity to work on the art, while some still seek a chance. Besides, art is highly associated with the economy of a country. To illustrate, the UK is well known for its spellbinding artistic home architecture, and thereby more than 10 million tourists visit the UK each year which ultimately contributes to the economy of the country. Therefore, the ministry should subsidize the impecunious artists. On the other hand, if the government starts giving money to the artists, then it may engender many fraudulent people. Besides, scandalous people always find out the way to earn money, in fact, anyone could easily forge the credentials of a fake artist to take money for the authority illegally. Hence, it may be very difficult to identify the true artist and may lead to the wastage of an enormous amount of money. Therefore, instead of giving finance, the government should give the platform to the artist, they could arrange exhibitions and concerts that will help to showcase the talent. To conclude, after analyzing the above discussion, it is quite evident that financial association may not be a good option to help artists, instead arranging events such as music concerts and art exhibitions can help artists to earn money.
Needless to say,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to relieve themselves from their day-to-day work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. A section of society believes that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
association to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
in order to foster them. While others argue. I,
however
,
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the notion. In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
essay, I will discuss the said view and substantiate mine.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
needs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing in the entire world which is nothing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a platform to showcase his talent.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, there are numerous talented and extraordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
present in society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
an opportunity to work on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
still
seek a chance.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is
highly
associated with the economy of a country. To illustrate, the UK is well known for its spellbinding artistic home architecture, and thereby more than 10 million tourists visit the UK each year which
ultimately
contributes to the economy of the country.
Therefore
, the ministry should subsidize the impecunious artists.

On the other hand
, if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
, then it may engender
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
fraudulent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Besides
, scandalous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
always find out the way to earn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, in fact, anyone could
easily
forge the credentials of a fake
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for the authority
illegally
.
Hence
, it may be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to identify the true
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
and may lead to the wastage of an enormous amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
Therefore
,
instead
of giving finance, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should give the platform to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
, they could arrange exhibitions and concerts that will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to showcase the talent.

To conclude
, after analyzing the above discussion, it is quite evident that financial association may not be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
option to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
,
instead
arranging
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
such as music concerts and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
exhibitions can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
to earn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
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IELTS essay The government should help

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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