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The government should control the use of the internet in a country

The government should control the use of the internet in a country pR1P3
In the modern era, the development of the internet is getting stronger and freer, and everyone can give and get the info or communicate with each other quickly, instant and real-time. Someone when suffering the network, it is like suffering the earth, they can go anywhere they want. However, one-place are not the same condition; there is a place full of peace or place that used for war. Because of that, it is crucial to restriction the cyberspace to protect and make everyone feeling safe when they hang around on the web then the ministry should take action to discipline the cyber management in the country. Nevertheless, with a condition like that, some people will not be controlled by using the internet because it will bother the freedom and limit their human rights. This essay will compare the reason the ministry to control or give flexibility to the usage of the network in a country. At first, the state has some reason to discipline the internet. One of them is to avoid the "hoax" news trend in public. Hoax news is info that does not match with reality. Since cyberspace lets everyone have access to spread the data, then these such conditions give opportunities for people who are not responsible for spreading lies with many purposes. Beside hoax news, there is also data that can threaten the union, so the union need to protect the data, then prevent danger the nation from external and internal threats—besides, some content in the world wide web not proper to open or accessed in some nation. Crime is always everywhere, no exception on the online network or it is called as cybercrime. Cybercrime covers in a large area, for example, such as carding or steals money, illegal content, hacking, data theft. As a result, the government takes action by controlling the purpose of the internet by blocking several websites. Due to the government should protect their citizens from crime. Despite to control the world wide web, part of the population thinks that the politics should not restrict a person's privilege, especially for cyber. Initially, the internet is personal consumption, so it is a responsibility of an individual to handling the online network, without the rule taking part. Another cause, digital era gives data to civilization without restriction. People did not want to be limited to consuming knowledge like a few decades ago. Furthermore, people also have a high curiosity about something that happens on earth. Without the border, people will try to search and gather all the data available so they can find out the truth or compare specific points of view. Lastly, freedom of speech in public is needed. Because the public has many opinions or data about something that may be public should know. However, some of that info can be marked as a hoax by the ministry, which sometimes filters data incorrectly. For example, Reddit is a forum website for discussing many things and lots of useful information. This site is a centre of information and entertainment for the people of Indonesia. However, Reddit was blocked in Indonesia because it contained pornography in one of its sub-forums. The authority department to handle computerized has a blocking machine against issues of pornography and things that are inappropriate for consumption, especially for underage. However, the target for the block is still not quite right. Consequently, some people think their rights are limited by the regime. . To conclude, all of this, the rule should improve again for controlling the internet. Do not block any site cause of the small part of content not appropriate. Then, consistent about the rule about computerized usage. Do not restrict access randomly because of specific issues which make communication difficult. The generation has been changed; all of the things now is digital. The internet as a medium of information and communication that connects the whole world should not be controlled too tightly, because it can cause restrictions on human rights to the public. If the user can handle the internet properly, adverse effects using the internet can be reduced. Negative effects are avoidable and preventable; it depends on the user itself. Proper and correct education about internet usage and ethics on the internet needs to be done to prevent the wrong service on the internet is the right step to do.
In the modern era, the development of the internet is getting stronger and freer, and everyone can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the info or communicate with each other
quickly
, instant and real-time. Someone when suffering the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
network
, it is like suffering the earth, they can go anywhere they want.
However
, one-place are not the same condition; there is a place full of peace or place that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for war.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of that, it is crucial to restriction the cyberspace to protect and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
everyone feeling safe when they hang around on the web then the ministry should take action to discipline the cyber management in the country.
Nevertheless
, with a condition like that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will not
be controlled
by using the internet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will bother the freedom and limit their human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
. This essay will compare the reason the ministry to control or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
flexibility to the usage of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
network
in a country.

At
first
, the state has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reason to discipline the internet. One of them is to avoid the
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
hoax
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
news trend in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
. Hoax news is info that does not match with reality. Since cyberspace
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lets
everyone
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "has", "had".
have
access to spread the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
, then these such conditions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
opportunities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are not responsible for spreading lies with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
purposes. Beside hoax news, there is
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
that can threaten the union,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the union need to protect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
, then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
the nation from external and internal threats—
besides
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
content in the
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
world wide web
not proper to open or accessed in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
nation. Crime is always everywhere, no exception on the online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
network
or it
is called
as cybercrime. Cybercrime covers in a large area,
for example
, such as carding or steals money, illegal content, hacking,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
theft.
As a result
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
takes action by controlling the purpose of the internet by blocking several websites. Due to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should protect their citizens from crime.

Despite to control the
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
world wide web
, part of the population
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that the politics should not restrict a person's privilege,
especially
for cyber.
Initially
, the internet is personal consumption,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is a responsibility of an individual to handling the online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
network
, without the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
taking part. Another cause, digital era
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
to civilization without restriction.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
did not want to
be limited
to consuming knowledge like a few decades ago.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
have a high curiosity about something that happens on earth. Without the border,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will try to search and gather all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
available
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can find out the truth or compare specific points of view.
Lastly
, freedom of speech in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
is needed
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
opinions or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
about something that may be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
should know.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of that info can
be marked
as a hoax by the ministry, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
filters
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
incorrectly
.
For example
, Reddit is a forum website for discussing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things and lots of useful information. This site is a
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
of information and entertainment for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of Indonesia.
However
, Reddit
was blocked
in Indonesia
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it contained pornography in one of its sub-forums. The authority department to handle computerized has a blocking machine against issues of pornography and things that are inappropriate for consumption,
especially
for underage.
However
, the target for the block is
still
not quite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
.
Consequently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
are limited
by the regime.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.


To conclude
, all of this, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
again for controlling the internet. Do not block any site cause of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
part of content not appropriate. Then, consistent about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
about computerized usage. Do not restrict access
randomly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of specific issues which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
communication difficult. The generation has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
;
Consider using "all the".
all of the
things
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
is digital. The internet as a medium of information and communication that connects the whole world should not
be controlled
too
tightly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can cause restrictions on human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
. If the user can handle the internet
properly
, adverse effects using the internet can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Negative
effects are avoidable and preventable; it depends on the user itself. Proper and correct education about internet usage and ethics on the internet needs to
be done
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
service on the internet is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
The usual collocation for "step" is "take". Did you mean "step to take"?
step to do
.
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IELTS essay The government should control the use of the internet in a country

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
723 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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