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Richness is an important factor in helping people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Richness is an important factor in helping people. JoqBj
It is often argued that having more money is the key factor in helping others. This essay completely disagrees with this statement. This essay believes that helping mentality drives people to do charity and the fact that there are so many other ways to help people, followed by a reasoned conclusion. Being rich does not mean that a person will help others. In other words, having a positive thought is a crucial factor in this kind of activities. There are so many rich people in many countries they never help people who are in the struggle even though they have an excess amount in their savings. Whereas, some people still come forward to help others from what they have despite their poverty. It is, therefore, pure mind and thought to decide to help people in need. Another point to consider is that giving more money to people is not only the way to help others. To put it in other words, money is not only the solution for every need. However, people can aid others in several other ways such as a graduate can teach poor children for free or a person can work in charity as a volunteer to help people. Thus, there are so many other ways are there if we really have a desire to help others. In conclusion, although people say that having more asset is the primary factor to help other people, I disagree with this view. Possessing a mind that ready to help others is the primary factor and apart from the money, plenty of other ways are there to help poor people.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that having more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is the key
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
in helping others. This essay completely disagrees with this statement. This essay believes that helping mentality drives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to do charity and the fact that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
to
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help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, followed by a reasoned conclusion.

Being rich does not mean that a person will
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help
others. In
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other
words, having a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
is a crucial
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factor
in this kind of activities. There are
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so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
rich
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people
in
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many
countries they never
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help
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people
who are in the struggle
even though
they have an excess amount in their savings.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
,
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some
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people
still
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come
forward to
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help
others from what they have despite their poverty. It is,
therefore
, pure mind and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
to decide to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in need.

Another point to consider is that giving more
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money
to
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people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
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way
to
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help
others. To put it in
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other
words,
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money
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the solution for every need.
However
,
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people
can aid others in several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
such as a graduate can teach poor children for free or a person can work in charity as a volunteer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Thus
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
are there if we
really
have a desire to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
others.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that having more asset is the primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, I disagree with this view. Possessing a mind that ready to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
others is the primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
and apart from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
are there to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
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IELTS essay Richness is an important factor in helping people.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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