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Maintaining the psychological, mental health, Meanwhile pushing kids forward to succeed in life.

Maintaining the psychological, mental health, Meanwhile pushing kids forward to succeed in life. lKGK
This essay is about the damage caused by parents's wrong disciplines. What the essence of putting a great pressure on kids that results a personalty distortions. Namely, encouraging the them to be better people. In recent years it was clearly noticed that families follow destructive practices toward their children in order to let them be successful individuals to benefit a great future. Undoubtedly nothing is more important than being well psychologically. For instance, lots of Doctors and Engineers are real psychopaths or have deviant tendencies. Some people think that the physical punishment is the only way to raise the kids well. Nevertheless, we did not see any regulations that incriminate these practices. In my view Government should put strict laws in order to prevent the society these unstable individuals. The aim of this essay is to highlight some unspeakable topics which corrode the quality of our life. In conclude, I would advise everybody to treat their young people genteelly and try to find alternatives to the physical punishment.
This essay is about the damage caused by
Did you mean "parent's" or "parents'"?
parents's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
disciplines. What the essence of putting a great pressure on kids that results a personalty distortions.
Namely
, encouraging
Possible typo. Did you mean "the" or "them"?
the them
to be better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. In recent years it was
clearly
noticed that families follow destructive practices toward their children in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them be successful individuals to benefit a great future.
Undoubtedly
nothing is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than being well
psychologically
.
For instance
, lots of Doctors and Engineers are real psychopaths or have deviant tendencies.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the physical punishment is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to raise the kids well.
Nevertheless
, we did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
any regulations that incriminate these practices. In my view
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should put strict laws in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the society these unstable individuals. The aim of this essay is to highlight
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
unspeakable topics which corrode the quality of our life. In conclude, I would advise everybody to treat their young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
genteelly
and try to find alternatives to the physical punishment.

IELTS essay Maintaining the psychological, mental health, Meanwhile pushing kids forward to succeed in life.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
168 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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