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The government has put forward several proposal. What are the advantages of every one of them?

The government has put forward several proposal. What are the advantages of every one of them? 2bRxX
Space has always played a vitally important role in our lives, even though a majority of people don't realize that. Since so many questions related to space have been raised during the past few centuries, people have been struggling to resolve all of the issues and answer all of the questions which our mankind has not been able to come to grips with. That is why countries intend to invest a huge amount of money into space exploration. Without a doubt, it has several benefits and advantages. Several countries have decided to work on discovering the universe together. As far as I'm concerned, they could achieve amazing results in terms of some new findings and breakthroughs. It is crucial to carry on supporting this as we should gain insight into the space we are surrounded by. Another important benefit which this long-term exploration funding could bring is that we would start seeking a new planet which would be similar to Earth. As there is an increase in the world's population, it would prevent the collapse of the wildlife on our planet. To sum up, it would be desirable to give the highest priority to exploring new places where living conditions would be acceptable for us. Not only would it prevent mankind from dying off, but it would also have a positive impact on global warming.
Space
has always played a
vitally
important
role in our
lives
,
even though
a majority of
people
don't realize that. Since
so
many
questions related to
space
have
been raised
during the past few centuries,
people
have been struggling to resolve
all of the
issues and answer
all of the
questions which our mankind has not been able to
come
to grips with.
That is
why countries intend to invest a huge amount of money into
space
exploration.

Without a doubt, it has several benefits and advantages. Several countries have decided to work on discovering the universe together. As far as I'm concerned, they could achieve amazing results in terms of
some
new findings and breakthroughs. It is crucial to carry on supporting this as we should gain insight into the
space
we
are surrounded
by.

Another
important
benefit which this long-term exploration funding could bring is that we would
start
seeking a new planet which would be similar to Earth. As there is an increase in the world's population, it would
prevent
the collapse of the wildlife on our planet.

To sum up, it would be desirable to give the highest priority to exploring new places where living conditions would be acceptable for us. Not
only
would it
prevent
mankind from dying off,
but
it would
also
have a
positive
impact on global warming.
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IELTS essay The government has put forward several proposal. What are the advantages of every one of them?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
225 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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