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The government and individuals are spending too much money on national celebrations like new year or festivals.

Perhaps the idea of expenditure on national occasions such as new year or festivals have become widespread one in recent decades, with many individuals holding different beliefs on it. Personally, I definitely I agree with the above expressed statement, and there are many compelling reasons to support my view. It is true that a large amount of money is spent on some important celebrations in a country. In he first place, I think governments are spending a proportion of their budget on holding events to celebrate these occasions, as much money is being paid for fireworks on Yew Years Eve in many countries around the world. Furthermore, individuals also spend money to have celebrations and parties with their families, which is common habit inn many areas. For example, my parents and I often have a special dinner on the final day of the year. However, not only that these kind of occasions and festivals have different negative sides but also had a great benefit of public spending on national celebrations, and therefore it is completely justifiable. One of the positives is that this is a great way to preserve the culture of the nation. To illustrate, Nowruz is an important part of the Uzbekistan culture and holding celebrations for this occasion are necessary to remind younger generations of this tradition. Additionally, since these occasions are usually the only times for family members to have time and enjoy together, it is understandable that people would want to spend money on something that makes them happy. Furthermore, as there are only a few national celebrations in a year, the amount of money spent on those days is unlikely to be too much serves as an additional example that proves the side of the argument being held by me. In conclusion, I claim that I disagree with the idea that people and government are spending too much money on national occasions.
Perhaps the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of expenditure on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
occasions
such as new year or festivals have become widespread one in recent decades, with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals holding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
beliefs on it.
Personally
, I definitely I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the above expressed statement, and there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
compelling reasons to support my view. It is true that a large amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is spent
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrations
in a country. In
Did you mean “the” or “his”?
he
first
place, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
are spending a proportion of their budget on holding
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
to celebrate these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
occasions
, as much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is
being paid
for fireworks on Yew Years Eve in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries around the world.
Furthermore
, individuals
also
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrations
and parties with their families, which is common habit inn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
areas.
For example
, my parents and I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
have a special dinner on the final day of the year.

However
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
that
‘These’ does not seem to match the singular noun ‘kind’. Did you mean “this kind” or “these kinds”?
these kind
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
occasions
and festivals have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
sides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
had a great benefit of public spending on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrations
, and
therefore
it is completely justifiable. One of the positives is that this is a great way to preserve the culture of the nation. To illustrate,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nowruz
is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of the Uzbekistan culture and holding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrations
for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
occasion
are necessary to remind younger generations of this tradition.
Additionally
, since these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
occasions
are
usually
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
times for family members to have time and enjoy together, it is understandable that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would want to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on something that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them happy.
Furthermore
, as there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrations
in a year, the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
spent on those days is unlikely to be too much serves as an additional example that proves the side of the argument
being held
by me.

In conclusion
, I claim that I disagree with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
are spending too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
occasions
.
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IELTS essay The government and individuals are spending too much money on national celebrations like new year or festivals.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
318 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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