Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The Global UGRAD Program is for young leaders committed to serving their home communities. Why would you be a great participant in the Global UGRAD Program?

The Global UGRAD Program is for young leaders committed to serving their home communities. Why would you be a great participant in the Global UGRAD Program? kL6y2
When lonely souls want to shout out loud, who will be there to listen to them? In the early years of my life, the world surrounding me was not a place where my words should be come out. I was raised up in a nuclear family in the South of Vietnam but personally, it is not a perfect family. Even though everybody saying that being an only child is a blessing, but it is just a tip of the iceberg. I could feel the words stuck in my throat when I saw my parents arguing for the smallest things and the hopelessness of bonding the family together. Eventually, they broke up and my misery accumulated for a long period of time until I turn into a depressed child. All that I want to have in that period is to be heard. when I turned 18, I got the chance to live the life that I wanted. I went to Tra Vinh university but I still living with my father since I moved here to learn. I think to myself that I had enough of this situation so I tried to become the change that I want to see in my life. By being a tarot reader, I then with 78 cards seeking out to help people who were in dilemma situation and reaching to what I initiated desire. I used tarot as a tool to create a safe space for those who want to be heard rather than the voodoo stuff that can predict a person's life. In 6 months after I began to be a tarot reader, I had chances to lit up the light in others' souls. I had reached plenty of people who were at their worst and made them feel better. The things that I contributed to their life was not too big, but I believe that their life can turn to a new page and become stronger after crossing my path. They had shared that if I was not there, they would be overwhelmed by their vague emotional realm because they just want a person to understand them. I believed that humans are born with two ears and one mouth in order to speak less and listen more. with that in mind, I would like to build a world where there are listeners for those in need. in my sophomore year, I started with participating English club in my school to make the change happens. I actively took the lead role in the club's teamwork so that i can encourage my peers to share their sorrows. In addition, when it came to the bonding part, i was able to be the connection between the group members, attach their mind together and gather them as a family. By understanding each individual point of view, I then discovered my own value. Which then become one of my motivations, to make the world listen to me, I will be the ear that this world need. My childhood was not perfect as children always dreamed about. Hence, I understood the sorrowful **condition** and I want to make the world a better place for those who suffering the unfortunate circumstance like me. I wish when I face my rock bottom, someone can be there to keep me up. I wish when my mind is numb, there is somebody who gives me a hand. I wish the world had more links to connect to my past self, to help people not feel like this is their dead end. So, I will make the most out of myself to bring this prospect into reality to help those in need and let their voice be heard.
When lonely souls
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to shout out loud,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
will be there to listen to them? In the early years of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
surrounding me was not a place where my words should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
out. I
was raised
up in a nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
in the South of Vietnam
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
personally
, it is not a perfect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
Even though
everybody saying that being an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
child is a blessing,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a tip of the iceberg. I could feel the words stuck in my throat when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
my parents arguing for the smallest things and the hopelessness of bonding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
together.
Eventually
, they broke up and my misery accumulated for a long period of time until I turn into a depressed child. All that I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to have in that period is to
be heard
.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
when
I turned 18, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
that I wanted. I went to
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tra
Possible spelling mistake found.
Vinh
university
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
still
living with my father since I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
here to learn. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
to myself that I had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
of this situation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I tried to become the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
that I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. By being a tarot reader, I then with 78 cards seeking out to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
were in dilemma situation and reaching to what I initiated desire. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
tarot as a tool to create a safe space for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
be heard
rather
than the voodoo stuff that can predict a person's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. In 6 months after I began to be a tarot reader, I had chances to lit up the light in others' souls. I had reached
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
were at their worst and made them feel better. The things that I contributed to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
was not too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I believe that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
can turn to a new page and become stronger after crossing my path.

They had shared that if I was not there, they would
be overwhelmed
by their vague emotional realm
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
a person to understand them.

I believed that humans
are born
with two ears and one mouth in order to speak less and listen more.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
with
that in mind, I would like to build a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
where there are listeners for those in need.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
my sophomore year, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
with participating English club in my school to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
happens. I
actively
took the lead role in the club's teamwork
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
Did you mean "I"?
i
can encourage my peers to share their sorrows.
In addition
, when it came to the bonding part,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
was able to be the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
connection between
the group members, attach their mind together and gather them as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. By understanding each individual point of view, I then discovered my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
value. Which then become one of my motivations, to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
listen to me, I will be the ear that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
need.

My childhood was not perfect as children always dreamed about.
Hence
, I understood the sorrowful **condition** and I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
a better place for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
suffering the unfortunate circumstance like me. I wish when I face my rock bottom, someone can be there to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
me up. I wish when my mind is numb, there is somebody
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
gives me a hand.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
wish the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
had more links to connect to my past self, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
not feel like this is their dead
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the most out of myself to bring this prospect into reality to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
those in need and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
their voice
be heard
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay The Global UGRAD Program is for young leaders committed to serving their home communities. Why would you be a great participant in the Global UGRAD Program?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
613 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 6band
    Write an essay to give your opinion about the following statement: "Your personality doesn't change over time. "
    From once upon a time to nowadays, people mostly believe that: “A leopard can’t change his spots”. This issue has been being debated for many years. In my opinion, I disagree absolutely with the notion that your traits maintain forever. In the following paragraphs I’m going to show my arguments to s...
  • 6band
    BENEFITS OF LEARNING ENGLISH.
    English has become the global language, which implies that it is spoken as a second language in the majority of countries in every corner of the world. So, what are some of the advantages of learning English? English allows you to gain access to accumulated knowledge. Applied science, particularly ...
  • 6band
    he government should subsidize students who study faculties highly demanded from the society and reduce funding others
    For years, there has been a gap between the number of graduates from the university and the demand of labor market, particularly in certain fields. Therefore, some people suggest that the government should subsidize students who study faculties highly demanded from the society and reduce funding oth...
  • 5band
    Is nuclear power a boon or Bane ?
    In this contemporary era, there are various natural resources that are beneficial for human beings. Some individuals opine that there are a lot of advantages of nuclear energy but other are against this notion. I will discuss some pros and cons of this phenomena in forthcoming paragraph with plausib...
  • 5band
    Do think evaluation teacher performance by student is a good method
    In this contemporary world, tutor is the backbone of the society and also showing student to choose right direction. Some people claim that pupil judge performance but other opposite view point is higher authority Only check her performance. I disagree with this notion and I will discuss my view poi...
  • 6band
    prefer living in a big city to living in a small town
    These days and ages, society has great changes, lead to the standard living’s people are variable. People rely on technology-based platforms or sustain a trendy way of life. As a result, all individuals prefer living in a big city to living in a small town. I am a member of the younger generation, t...