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The given chart illustrates the proportion of citizens who purchase and drink coffee and tea in five different Australian cities in the previous 4 weeks.

The given chart illustrates the proportion of citizens who purchase and drink coffee and tea in five different Australian cities in the previous 4 weeks. 9lerr
The given chart illustrates the proportion of citizens who purchase and drink coffee and tea in five different Australian cities in the previous 4 weeks. It is crystal clear that Australians were into using these beverages in some cafes instead of purchasing them and the citizens in Hobart city were the most regular customers of cafe shops. The percentage of people who bought fresh coffee in Sydney and Melbourne were equal, at over 40% while Hobart ranked third with about 38% of citizens buying the same product. In addition, the figures of Brisban and Adelaide were equal as well, at nearly 35% respectively. In terms of the percentage of people who purchased instant coffee, Bristan and Hobart ranked first with about roughly 54% while the figures of three remaining cities fluctuated from about 45% to 50%. According to the percentage of people using coffee or tea in cafe shops, citizens of Melbourne and Hobart are the most regular customers of these shops. Besides, there was over 60% of Sydney’s citizens drinking these beverages in cafe shops while the rate of people using coffee and tea in stores of two Brisban and Adelaide were 55% and 40%.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
chart illustrates the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
and drink
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
and tea in five
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Australian cities in the previous 4 weeks.

It is crystal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that Australians were into using these beverages in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
'cafes' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "cafés"
cafes
instead
of purchasing them and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
in Hobart city were the most regular customers of
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
shops.

The percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
in Sydney and Melbourne were equal, at over 40% while Hobart ranked third with about 38% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
buying the same product.
In addition
, the figures of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Brisban
and Adelaide were equal
as well
, at
nearly
35%
respectively
. In terms of the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
instant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bristan
and Hobart ranked
first
with about roughly 54% while the figures of three remaining cities fluctuated from about 45% to 50%.

According to the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
or tea in
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
shops,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
of Melbourne and Hobart are the most regular customers of these shops.
Besides
, there was over 60% of Sydney’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
drinking these beverages in
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
shops while the rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
and tea in stores of two
Possible spelling mistake found.
Brisban
and Adelaide were 55% and 40%.

IELTS essay The given chart illustrates the proportion of citizens who purchase and drink coffee and tea in five different Australian cities in the previous 4 weeks.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
196 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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