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the generation difference

the generation difference d0er
We live in a world that has been changing rapidly and we have to adapt ourselves to it. We have seen different people that were born in different times and conditions and grew in different periods of time. As a result, there are many differences from one generation to another generation due to the fact that every generation has some effects of political, economical, social, scientific, and technical conditions, and many other things at that time. First of all, the biggest distinction is political. Because when we are looking back or when ı ask my parents about this topic ı always see that in their times the government lay claim to them or preserve their justification. Or ı see that protect the country verges. Do you know that the government sold some country lands to foreign people just to make money? Or the laws are not even enforced right now. Some trials are not even within the framework of the law. Some of people go to the jail for the crime that they didn't actually do. We see that the government doesn't care about human rights or animal rights. Even ı can say that some of the people in opposition tender new constitution about animal rights but the government didn't accept it. Do you know in Turkey how many women died in just one year? 369 women died for just they didn't do or think what their partner said or they didn't want to be with that man. So with these examples ı can say that murder and crime rates increased with years. And the government didn't do anything about this issue they even didn't make a new law. Secondly, in my parents time, their families were actually more conservative and adhered to their customs and traditions. But now ı can't really say it's the same because people, the environment, and our perspectives and thought changes and different right now. For example in my parent's time there was a 'ask for the girl in marriage' But our times some people don't actually do it anymore. For instance, they were doing a circumcision feast for boys. But in our times most people are not doing it anymore. Furthermore, the people were having a bond to their religion in the past. They were doing worship and they were doing most of the necessities in their religion. But now, some people don't do it anymore. Even some people didn't believe in their religion anymore and they change it sometimes. Do you know, nowadays the people who believe in deism and atheism become more? Because the environment changing and people's needs and thoughts are changing mainly religions are told wrong sometimes. To sum up, everything is changing so fast There are good sides and bad sides to change. People, age, needs, thoughts, advancement of technology etc. affect changing. So there are always going to be differences between generations. Who knows what big changes will happen 100 years from now.
We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a world that has been
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changing
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
rapidly and
we
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have to
adapt ourselves to it. We have
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seen
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different
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people
that
were born
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
and conditions and grew in
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different
periods of time.

As a result
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
differences from one generation to another generation due to the fact that every generation has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
effects of political, economical, social, scientific, and technical conditions, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other things at that time.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the biggest distinction is political.
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Because
when we are looking back or when ı ask my parents about this topic ı always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
lay claim to them or preserve their justification. Or ı
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that protect the country verges. Do you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
sold
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
country lands to foreign
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people
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just
to
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make
money? Or the laws are not even enforced
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right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
trials are not even within the framework of the law.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go to the jail for the crime that they didn't actually do. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
doesn't care about human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
or animal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
. Even ı can say that
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in opposition tender new constitution about animal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
didn't accept it. Do you
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know
in Turkey how
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many
women
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died
in
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just
one year? 369 women
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died
for
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just
they didn't do or
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think
what their partner
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
said or
they didn't want to be with that
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man
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
with these examples ı can say that murder and crime rates increased with years. And the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
didn't do anything about this issue they even didn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a new law.

Secondly
, in my parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, their families were actually more conservative and adhered to their customs and traditions.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
ı can't
really
say it's the same
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, the environment, and our perspectives and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
.
For example
in my parent's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
there was a '
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
the girl in marriage'
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don't actually do it anymore.
For instance
, they were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
a circumcision feast for boys.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
it anymore.

Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were having a bond to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
religion
in the past. They were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
worship and
they were
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doing
most of the necessities in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
religion
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don't do it anymore. Even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
didn't believe in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
religion
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
anymore and
they
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change
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
. Do you
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know
, nowadays the
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people
who believe in deism and atheism become more?
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
the environment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changing
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's needs and thoughts are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changing
mainly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
religions
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
.

To sum up, everything is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
There are
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good
sides and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
sides to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
, age, needs, thoughts, advancement of technology etc. affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changing
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
there are always going to be differences between generations. Who
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knows
what
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
will happen 100 years from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
.
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IELTS essay the generation difference

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
495 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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