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With growing number of people in cities, more and more are living in smaller house with no outdoor places. What do you think is it positive or negative development?

With growing number of people in cities, more and more are living in smaller house with no outdoor places. What do you think is it positive or negative development? VJkw
As many people today choosing to live in urban areas, shortage of space for housing are tempting people to live in small houses without outside places. Personally, although residing in smaller houses with no outer spaces might have some its positive sides, I still believe that this is a negative trend. On the one hand, choosing compact houses, which often does not have its own backyard or garden, as a place of residence, in my opinion, would be the precursor of some stress-related and health diseases. Usually, living inside the four walls with no outdoor recreation place prevents people from both to get back to nature in order to relax and there is a high chance that they would be accustomed to sedentary lifestyle. This in turn would result not only in high levels of stress, but also lack of movement and active life contributes to obesity. Thus, the reason why I think that living in small houses without outdoor places is a negative trend would be the arising of some health issues of the population. However, there are some people who believe that small residential area without outdoor places is a positive trend in a way that it may save time which otherwise might be spent outside home. They point out that students and workers would be far away from any distractions, like gardening or hanging out with friends, which may allow them to focus on their task, and I think that in a way that makes sense. Nevertheless, I cannot support these peoples’ opinion since I believe that applies only to some individuals. Instead, I think that older people, children and some housewives also should be considered when choosing to reside in small houses with not enough space outdoors. Therefore, I also believe that saving time on household chores and entertainment is not a standing point to claim, but sometimes it is better to devote leisure time to recharge ones’ batteries. In conclusion, even though I can understand that living in small places with no outdoor places to some extent might be productive in some peoples’ lives, I still strongly feel that it is a negative development.
As
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many
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people
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today
choosing to
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live
in urban areas, shortage of space for housing are tempting
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people
to
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live
in
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small
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houses
without outside
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places
.
Personally
, although residing in smaller
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houses
with no outer spaces might have
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some
its
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positive
sides, I
still
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believe
that this is a
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negative
trend.

On the one hand, choosing compact
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houses
, which
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often
does not have its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
backyard or garden, as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
of residence, in my opinion, would be the precursor of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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stress
-related and health diseases.
Usually
, living inside the four walls with no
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outdoor
recreation
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place
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
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people
from both to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
back to nature in order to relax and there is a high chance that they would
be accustomed
to sedentary lifestyle. This in turn would result not
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only
in high levels of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
,
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but
also
lack of movement and active life contributes to obesity.
Thus
, the reason why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
without
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outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
trend would be the arising of
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some
health issues of the population.

However
, there are
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some
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people
who
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believe
that
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small
residential area without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend in a way that it may save time which
otherwise
might
be spent
outside home. They point out that students and workers would be far away from any distractions, like gardening or hanging out with friends, which may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to focus on their task, and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that in a way that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
sense.
Nevertheless
, I cannot support these
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peoples’
opinion since I
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believe
that applies
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only
to
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some
individuals.
Instead
, I
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think
that older
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people
, children and
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some
housewives
also
should
be considered
when choosing to reside in
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small
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houses
with not
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enough
space
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outdoors
.
Therefore
, I
also
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believe
that saving time on household chores and entertainment is not a standing point to claim,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it is better to devote leisure time to recharge ones’ batteries.

In conclusion
,
even though
I can understand that living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
with no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent might be productive in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, I
still
strongly
feel that it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development.
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IELTS essay With growing number of people in cities, more and more are living in smaller house with no outdoor places. What do you think is it positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
359 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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