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The following recommendation appeared in a memo from the mayor of the town of Hopewell."Two years ago, the nearby town of Ocean View built a new municipal golf course and resort hotel. During the past two years, tourism in Ocean View has increased, n

The following recommendation appeared in a memo from the mayor of the town of Hopewell. " Two years ago, the nearby town of Ocean View built a new municipal golf course and resort hotel. During the past two years, tourism in Ocean View has increased, n MM36N
The argument of mayor of the town of Hopewell seems plausible but meticulous analysis makes the argument specious. The argument is based on unwarranted assumptions and unsubstantiated conclusion. Following three questions must be answered in order to strengthen the argument. Firstly, what are the causes behind the increment of the tourism in ocean view? The argument does not provide any information regarding the cause of the tourism increment and also states that new business have opened there. Might be the tourists are related to the business and not related to the golf course. This assumption weaken the argument. Secondly, is the Ocean View's tax revenue increment by 30 percent related to the golf course? The argument does not state anything as such and may the percentage of tax levied was increased and as a result the revenue from tax also increased. The argument is based on the speculation that the golf course built two years ago resulted the rise in revenue by 30 percent but could not provide any plausible facts for the assumptions. Finally, is the Hopewell's economy similar to the Ocean view? The mayor have compared the Hopewell's economy with the Ocean view economy without enough information regarding the similarity between them. May the Hopewell's economy is far different from that of Ocean View and building golf course and resort hotel is completely not related with Hopewell's economy. In conclusion, the argument of the Mayor is fallacious and to strengthen the argument rigorous study must be done regarding the Ocean view's economy and Hopewell's economy. Above three questions must be mandatorily answered in order to bolster the mayor's argument instead of the unwarranted speculations.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
of mayor of the town of Hopewell seems plausible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
meticulous analysis
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
specious. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
is based
on unwarranted assumptions and unsubstantiated conclusion. Following three questions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be answered
in order to strengthen the argument.

Firstly
, what are the causes behind the increment of the tourism in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ocean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
? The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
does not provide any information regarding the cause of the tourism increment and
also
states that new business have opened there. Might be the tourists are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
related
to the business and not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
related
to the golf
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
.
The verb 'weaken' is plural. Did you mean: "This assumption weakens"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
This assumption weaken
the argument.

Secondly
, is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Ocean
View's tax revenue increment by 30 percent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
related
to the golf
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
? The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
does not state anything as such and may the percentage of tax levied
was increased
and
as a result
the revenue from tax
also
increased. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
is based
on the speculation that the golf
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
built two years ago resulted the rise in revenue by 30 percent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
could not provide any plausible facts for the assumptions.

Finally
, is the Hopewell's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
similar to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Ocean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
? The mayor have compared the Hopewell's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Ocean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
without
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
information regarding the similarity between them. May the Hopewell's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
is far
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Ocean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
View
and building golf
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
and resort hotel is completely not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
related
with Hopewell's economy.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
of the Mayor is fallacious and to strengthen the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
rigorous study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be done
regarding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Ocean
view's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
and Hopewell's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
. Above three questions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
Possible spelling mistake found.
mandatorily
answered in order to bolster the mayor's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
instead
of the unwarranted speculations.
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IELTS essay The following recommendation appeared in a memo from the mayor of the town of Hopewell. " Two years ago, the nearby town of Ocean View built a new municipal golf course and resort hotel. During the past two years, tourism in Ocean View has increased, n

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
276 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • The following recommendation appeared in a memo from the mayor of the town of Hopewell."Two years ago, the nearby town of Ocean View built a new municipal golf course and resort hotel. During the past two years, tourism in Ocean View has increased, n