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Technology has made the world a better place to live.

Technology has made the world a better place to live. Wyg0k
Technology development plays the important role in the every sectors- health, education and industrial- of the world. It is my firm belief that technological development has made the world better place to live for a number of reasons, and I will develop these ideas in the subsequent paragraphs. To begin with, technological development in the medical sectors of the world makes the possibility of better living of healthy life. The people in the present situation can make their body check up using the different technology, in order to know about the condition of their body. There are availability of video x-rays, x-ray machine, MRI, laboratory instrument, etc in the field of the medical for the identification of the different abnormalities and disorders that might present in the human body. It made possible for the people to identify the disorders and to take the measures to mitigate the disorder. I have to admit that, my opinion on this matter has been profoundly influenced by my own personal experience. When I was 12 years old, I was suffer from the fractured of bone. At that time, the doctor told me that I was not fracture and prescribed me some medicine to use, but these medicines donot work on me. After the long time pain i again went to the doctor again, and he suggest me to carried out the X-ray. After the X-ray, It was found that my bone has been fractured and finally doctor prescribed me medicine related to this issue and my fractured bone was cured. Secondly, the technological development in the communication sector helps to connect the whole world. In the present world, the people living in one country can easily get connected with the people in another country with the means of internet. The development of internet, Facebook, viber, email, etc not only helps in connecting the people but also play the important role in the management of different official work and decisions. For instance, if the student wants to apply for the aboard study then he needs to make the contact with the professor of the particular university. In this situation, the student can make contact with professor through the means of skype, email, etc. in order to make the important talks. That’s why technology plays an important role in the better living. Last but not least, the technological development plays an important role in the conservation of environment by replacing the firewood by electrical cooking appliances for the different cooking purpose. It not only helps to conserve the environment but also prevent the people from exposing to the harmful gases that are produced through firewood burning and resulting in the better and healthier lifestyle. In light of the above mentioned reasons, I strongly agree with the statement that technology made the world a better place to live.
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Technology
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development
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plays
the
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important
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role
in the every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "sector"?
sectors
- health, education and industrial- of the
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world
. It is my firm belief that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
has made the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
place to
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live
for a number of reasons, and I will develop these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
in the subsequent paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
in the medical sectors of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
the possibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
living of healthy life. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the present situation can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their body
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
up using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, in order to know about the condition of their body. There are availability of video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
x-rays
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
x-ray
machine, MRI, laboratory instrument, etc in the field of the medical for the identification of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
abnormalities and disorders that might present in the human body. It made possible for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to identify the disorders and to take the measures to mitigate the disorder. I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
admit that, my opinion on this matter has been
profoundly
influenced by my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
personal experience. When I was 12 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, I was
Consider using a past participle here: "suffered".
suffer
from the fractured of bone. At that time, the doctor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
me that I was not fracture and prescribed me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
medicine to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
these medicines
Possible spelling mistake found.
donot
work on me. After the long time pain
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
again went to the doctor again, and he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "suggests", "suggested".
suggest
me to carried out the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
X-ray
. After the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
X-ray
, It
was found
that my bone has
been fractured
and
finally
doctor prescribed me medicine related to this issue and my fractured bone
was cured
.

Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
in the communication sector
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to connect the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. In the present
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world
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in one country can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
connected with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in another country with the means of internet. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of internet, Facebook,
Possible spelling mistake found.
viber
, email, etc not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in connecting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
in the management of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
official work and decisions.
For instance
, if the student wants to apply for the aboard study then he needs to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the contact with the professor of the particular university. In this situation, the student can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
contact with professor through the means of skype, email, etc. in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
talks. That’s why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plays
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
living.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plays
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
in the conservation of environment by replacing the firewood by electrical cooking appliances for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
cooking purpose. It not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to conserve the environment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from exposing to the harmful gases that
are produced
through firewood burning and resulting in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
and healthier lifestyle.

In light of the above mentioned reasons, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
made the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
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IELTS essay Technology has made the world a better place to live.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
471 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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