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Nowadays, the designs of the buildings in the community are affected by other cultures. This results in loss of cultural identity of the structures in the community. People would claim that buildings should be built using a traditional style for the prote v.1

Nowadays, the designs of the buildings in the community are affected by other cultures. This results in loss of cultural identity of the structures in the community. People would claim that buildings should be built using a traditional style for the prote v. 1
The role of the media in giving birth to violence in society is irrefutable. I completely agree with this notion, not only because of news bulletins that are full of loath, and fighting video game challenges but also because of the dramas that are not appropriate for viewers of all ages. Firstly, the factor that compelled me to agree with this statement is that news that is on-aired on television are malicious. As the media is prone to be easily bribed and used to gain personal benefits, the news broadcasted is influence paddled to speak against competitors. Take an example of CNN America, which was responsible for cultivating abhorrence among the nation for the Republican party’s candidate. Hence, fake news on television spread violence in society. Secondly, computer games have completely ruined the constructive behaviour of the younger generation. As children kept themselves engaged all day long with these fighting challenges, which has created chaos and anarchy in society, besides this, they also try to apply these techniques to their siblings. For instance, in India, where an electronic game addict was accused of killing younger brother while playing the Grand theft auto game. Thus, the media has diminished the border between right and wrong. Finally, the content of the dramas is approved without being censored, which raises domestic violence and harassment. As dramas, these days are far from the reality due to which people are exposed to violence, and they try to implement what they watch on television. To sum up, I completely agree with this statement. Not only because of dubious news and seasons, which are full of violence and inappropriate content, but also because of electronic games that affect a child’s behaviour.
The role of the media in giving birth to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
in society is irrefutable. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this notion, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
bulletins that are full of loath, and fighting video game challenges
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the dramas that are not appropriate for viewers of all ages.

Firstly
, the factor that compelled me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
that is
on-aired on television are malicious. As the media is prone to be
easily
bribed and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to gain personal benefits, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
broadcasted is influence paddled to speak against competitors. Take an example of CNN America, which was responsible for cultivating abhorrence among the nation for the
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Republican party
’s candidate.
Hence
, fake
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
on television spread
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
in society.

Secondly
, computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
have completely ruined the constructive
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of the younger generation. As children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
themselves engaged all day long with these fighting challenges, which has created chaos and anarchy in society,
besides
this, they
also
try to apply these techniques to their siblings.
For instance
, in India, where an electronic game addict
was accused
of killing younger brother while playing the
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Grand theft auto
game.
Thus
, the media has diminished the border between right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
.

Finally
, the content of the dramas
is approved
without
being censored
, which raises domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
and harassment. As dramas, these days are far from the reality due to which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are exposed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
, and they try to implement what they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
on television.

To sum up, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of dubious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
and seasons, which are full of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
and inappropriate content,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
that affect a child’s
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay Nowadays, the designs of the buildings in the community are affected by other cultures. This results in loss of cultural identity of the structures in the community. People would claim that buildings should be built using a traditional style for the prote v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
284 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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