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The following appeared in a memo from the vice president of marketing at Dura-Sock, Inc. A recent study of our customers suggests that our company is wasting the money it spends on its patented Endure manufacturing process, which ensures that our socks ar

The following appeared in a memo from the vice president of marketing at Dura-Sock, Inc. A recent study of our customers suggests that our company is wasting the money it spends on its patented Endure manufacturing process, which ensures that our socks ar 2bP6k
In the memo, the vice president of marketing at Dura-Sock, Inc. suggests that they should discontinue use of the Endure manufacturing process to increase their profits. At first glance, the suggestion sounds persuasive; however, the lack of specific evidence leads me to conclude that this argument is unsound on many grounds. First of all, the author needs to provide more sound evidence to take the survey at face value and deduce that retaining Endure manufacturing process is waste of money. Since he does not clarify the number of people who answered the questions and we also cannot assume the age and type of people. Therefore, it is hard to believe this survey. Even if the result of the survey is credible, the author cannot corroborate that the process is waste of money due to the fact that their average customer purchases new socks frequently. However, it is possible that their customers bought their socks because they like the durability of socks, and in this case, we cannot regard the process is unnecessary. Secondly, more concrete evidence is necessary to support the author’s contention that durability of their socks is not regarded as their most attractive factor based on the survey in northeastern United States cities. Since the survey was taken only in the part of United States, even though the northeastern cities are their largest market, the penchants or customers cannot be generalized as the preference of all customers. Also, it is far-fetched to say that customers do not consider the durability because they most value the appearance of their socks. Last but not least, the author needs to supplement the argument with more information to conclude that discontinuing use of the process can increase their profits. In all likelihood, there may be a plethora of customers who choose Dura-Socks because of their durability, even though they are not express their opinion or they are not the major customers. In this case, those customers will change their socks if their durability is deteriorated, and the loss can override the saving costs by discontinuing the process. Therefore, without ruling out other possibilities, the author cannot insist discontinuing the Endure manufacturing process. In brief, this argument is illogical in many respects. In order to bolster this argument, the author needs to offer more evidence to support his argument.
In the memo, the vice president of marketing at
Possible spelling mistake found.
Dura-Sock
, Inc. suggests that they should discontinue
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'Endure' is correct. If 'Endure' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the Endure
manufacturing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
to increase their profits. At
first
glance, the suggestion sounds persuasive;
however
, the lack of specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
evidence
leads me
to conclude
that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
is unsound on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
grounds.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
needs to provide more sound
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
evidence
to take the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
survey
at face value and deduce that retaining Endure manufacturing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
is waste of money. Since he does not clarify the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who answered the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
questions and
we
also
cannot assume the age and type of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Therefore
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to believe this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
survey
. Even if the result of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
survey
is credible, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
cannot corroborate that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
is waste of money due to the fact that their average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
socks
frequently
.
However
, it is possible that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
socks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they like the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
durability
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
socks
, and
in this case
, we cannot regard the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
is unnecessary.

Secondly
, more concrete
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
evidence
is necessary to support the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author’s
contention that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
durability
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
socks
is not regarded as their most attractive factor based on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
survey
in northeastern United States cities. Since the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
survey
was taken
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in the part
A determiner is probably missing here: "of the United States".
of United States
,
even though
the northeastern cities are their largest market, the penchants or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
cannot
be generalized
as the preference of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
.
Also
, it is far-fetched to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
do not consider the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
durability
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they most value the appearance of their socks.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
needs to supplement the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
with more information
to conclude
that discontinuing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
can increase their profits. In all likelihood, there may be a plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
who choose
Possible spelling mistake found.
Dura-Socks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
durability
,
even though
they are not express their
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
opinion or
they are not the major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
.
In this case
, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
socks
if their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
durability
is deteriorated
, and the loss can override the saving costs by discontinuing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
.
Therefore
, without ruling out other possibilities, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
cannot insist discontinuing
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'Endure' is correct. If 'Endure' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the Endure
manufacturing process.

In brief
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
is illogical in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
respects. In order to bolster this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
needs to offer more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
evidence
to support his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
.
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IELTS essay The following appeared in a memo from the vice president of marketing at Dura-Sock, Inc. A recent study of our customers suggests that our company is wasting the money it spends on its patented Endure manufacturing process, which ensures that our socks ar

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
386 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • The following appeared in a memo from the vice president of marketing at Dura-Sock, Inc. A recent study of our customers suggests that our company is wasting the money it spends on its patented Endure manufacturing process, which ensures that our socks ar