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The following appeared in a memo at XYZ company."When XYZ lays off employees, it pays Delany Personnel Firm to offer those employees assistance in creating résumés and developing interviewing skills, if they so desire. Laid-off employees have benefited

The following appeared in a memo at XYZ company. " When XYZ lays off employees, it pays Delany Personnel Firm to offer those employees assistance in creating résumés and developing interviewing skills, if they so desire. Laid-off employees have benefited 3agEX
The author of the memo asserts that XYZ company should use service of Delany Personnel Firm due to its efficiency of its service with the faired employees. Although the writer gives us some evidences they should be evaluated in order to estimate the soundness of the conclusion. First of all, is the service provided by the Delany Personnel Firm only factor which impacts on time spent by the fired workers to find a new job? Is it reasonable to compare the two cases which happened today and eight years ago? How many of people used the service of Walsh Personnel Firms? The central evidences of the efficiency of Delany Personnel Firm is that these workers who use its service find a new work place faster than employees who don use the service. Although the laid-off employees indeed may benefit from the provided services, it is possible that some other factors have an explicit impact on the result. For instance, we were told that only employees who state their desire to use the service will be provided it. Therefore, we may surmise that they have a desire or necessity to find a new occupation. And therefore, they are probably more active and energetic, may vigorously use internet services to look for new work place. In other words, the role of provided service by the Delany Personnel Firm in the success of the workers who used its service is not obvious and some other factors and employees characteristics may affect the celerity of finding a new work place. The author of the memo supports his or her conclusion via comparing the results of the useage of the services provided by both firms. However, is it reasonable to compare the situation eight years ago and today's one? The answer is loud " no" due to the possibility that economic and political situation in the country where the XYZ company operates may be drastically different today and several years ago. Did the country and the world economy undergo the stagnation or growth in the recent past? If the answer is " yes" , the stagnation may lead to the supposedly low effectiveness of the Walsh Personnel Firm's service. As a result, we cannot compare the two company on basis of data provided by the author. Moreover, the information given to us about the efficiency of the Walsh Personnel Firm is not enough to estimate its effectiveness due to the fact that we do not know how many people used the service? The probability exists that eight years ago only a small per cent of faired employees used the servise of Walsh Personnel Firm and therefore, we do not know how the service has impacted on the workers' lives. In conclusion, the author of the argument avers to stick to service which is provided by Delany Personnel Firm, but the data given to us failed to create a sound argument, therefore the efficiency of both firms are not conspicuous.
The author of the memo asserts that XYZ
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Delany
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Personnel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Firm
due to its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
efficiency
of its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
with the faired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
the writer gives us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
evidences they should
be evaluated
in order to estimate the soundness of the conclusion.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provided
by the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Delany
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Personnel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Firm
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
factor which impacts on time spent by the fired workers to find a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
job? Is it reasonable to compare the two cases which happened
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
and eight years ago? How
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
of Walsh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Personnel
Firms?

The central evidences of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
efficiency
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Delany
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Personnel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Firm
is that these workers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
find a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
work place faster than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
don
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
. Although the laid-off
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
indeed
may benefit from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provided
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
, it is possible that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other factors have an explicit impact on the result.
For instance
, we were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
state their desire to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provided
it.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Therefore
, we may surmise that they have a desire or necessity to find a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
occupation. And
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
therefore
, they are
probably
more active and energetic, may
vigorously
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
to look for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
work place.
In other words
, the role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provided
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
by the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Delany
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Personnel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Firm
in the success of the workers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
is not obvious and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other factors and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
characteristics may affect the celerity of finding a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
work place.

The author of the memo supports
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
conclusion via comparing the results of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
useage
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provided
by both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
firms
.
However
, is it reasonable to compare the situation eight years ago and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's one? The answer is loud
Possible spelling mistake found.
&quot
;
Possible spelling mistake found.
no&quot
; due to the possibility that economic and political situation in the country where the XYZ
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
operates may be
drastically
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
and several years ago. Did the country and the world economy undergo the stagnation or growth in the recent past? If the answer is
Possible spelling mistake found.
&quot
;
Possible spelling mistake found.
yes&quot
;
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
the stagnation may lead to the
supposedly
low effectiveness of the Walsh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Personnel
Firm's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
.
As a result
, we cannot compare the two
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
on basis of data
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provided
by the author.

Moreover
, the information
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to us about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
efficiency
of the Walsh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Personnel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Firm
is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to estimate its effectiveness due to the fact that we do not know how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
? The probability exists that eight years ago
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
per cent of faired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
servise
of Walsh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Personnel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Firm
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
therefore
, we do not know how the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
has impacted on the workers'
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

In conclusion
, the author of the argument avers to stick to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
which is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provided
by
Possible spelling mistake found.
Delany
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Personnel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Firm
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the data
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to us failed to create a sound argument,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
therefore
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
efficiency
of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
firms
are not conspicuous.
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IELTS essay The following appeared in a memo at XYZ company. " When XYZ lays off employees, it pays Delany Personnel Firm to offer those employees assistance in creating résumés and developing interviewing skills, if they so desire. Laid-off employees have benefited

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
494 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • The following appeared in a memo at XYZ company."When XYZ lays off employees, it pays Delany Personnel Firm to offer those employees assistance in creating résumés and developing interviewing skills, if they so desire. Laid-off employees have benefited