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The first reason why women are not always on their jobs is that females often have to stay at home and do their household issues because it is the women who are supposed to do care for their house and look after children as they are mothers in houses.

The first reason why women are not always on their jobs is that females often have to stay at home and do their household issues because it is the women who are supposed to do care for their house and look after children as they are mothers in houses. 7py3X
Academic writing task 2. essay C Although women workers in many countries developed gain dominance in the workforce, with more 50 per cent, those who are positioned in most high level jobs in companies are males. A certain percentage of these high level positions ought to be given to females in companies. This essay completely disagrees with this view because women are not always available for their duty and frequent business trips are not acceptable for women. The first reason why women are not always on their jobs is that females often have to stay at home and do their household issues because it is the women who are supposed to do care for their house and look after children as they are mothers in houses. For example, in my home town last week my aunt could not cope with family issues and firm duties. As a result, on a big day she had to go to the hospital for her little son’s broken to take injections instead of going to the urgent business meeting arranged by her boss. Consequently, she has been recently fired. What is more, companies always do have business plans and high level positioned workers are aimed to manage these successfully and it means that employees must go on business trips even to other countries frequently. In this situation, female workers can not finish their tasks such as going to other countries or staying at hotels for some time as they have children and a husband. For example, any woman who is employed in a high rank job in a company may reject business trips in my country since in our country and religion females should stay home and may work according to the religious rules. By way of conclusion, though females are better at performing tasks than males are, this essay completely disagrees with this opinion as women may not have enough time time to accomplish their tasks in a job and business trips may have some troubles for females
Academic writing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
task
2.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
essay
C

Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
workers in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
developed gain dominance in the workforce, with more 50 per cent, those who
are positioned
in most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are males. A certain percentage of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
level positions ought to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
. This essay completely disagrees with this view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are not always available for their duty and frequent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
are not acceptable for women.

The
first
reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are not always on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
stay at home and do their household issues
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
who
are supposed
to do care for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and look after children as they are mothers in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
.
For example
, in my home town last week my aunt could not cope with family issues and firm duties.
As a result
, on a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
day she had to go to the hospital for her
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
son’s broken to take injections
instead
of going to the urgent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
meeting arranged by her boss.
Consequently
, she has been recently fired.

What is more
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
always do have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
plans and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
level positioned workers
are aimed
to manage these
successfully
and it means that employees
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
go on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
even to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
frequently
. In this situation,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
workers can not finish their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
such as going to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
or staying at hotels for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time as they have children and a husband.
For example
, any woman who
is employed
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
rank
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
may reject
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
since in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and religion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
should stay home and may work according to the religious
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
.

By way of conclusion, though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
are better at performing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
than males are, this essay completely disagrees with this opinion as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
may not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
Possible typo: you repeated a word
time time
to accomplish their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
may have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
troubles for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
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IELTS essay The first reason why women are not always on their jobs is that females often have to stay at home and do their household issues because it is the women who are supposed to do care for their house and look after children as they are mothers in houses.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
334 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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