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Some people like to try new things, for example, places to visit and types of food. Other prefer to keep doing things they are familiar with.

Some people like to try new things, for example, places to visit and types of food. Other prefer to keep doing things they are familiar with. OE5Ek
While some people enjoy trying new experiences, such as, travelling and eating new cuisine. Others tend to stay in their comfort zones, doing things that are well known to them. As an extrovert person I definitely prefer the first outgoing lifestyle. Firstly, according to those who like to try new things, life is only once. One should seek to experience most, if not all of it. Secondly, they believe that, by exploring new interests and extending their horizons, people may find their real passion. For example, I have read a book about a mountain climber, who had tried climbing for the first time as part of a camping trip he went on, whoch later became his profession. Lastly, escaping the hectic routine by doing unfamiliar things, will reveal the stress, relax the body and the mind and boost the spirit. On the other side, people who prefer to keep doing things they are familiar with say that, since it is only one life, one should live it in a safe way. They are afraid of facing an unpleasant experience or even a deadly one. Moreover, they think it is better to exploit the time they have to excel jobs, or to improve their existing relationships. Finally, they may argue that, they have already found what they are passionate about and they love doing it. To conclude, people differ in their attitudes, some are outgoing, others love an easy relaxed life pattern. I firmly believe that for a healthy life, everyone must break their routine and try new things every now and then.
While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
enjoy trying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
experiences, such as, travelling and eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
cuisine. Others tend to stay in their comfort zones,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
things that are well known to them.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
an extrovert person I definitely prefer the
first
outgoing lifestyle.
Firstly
, according to those who like to try
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
once. One should seek to experience most, if not all of it.
Secondly
, they believe that, by exploring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
interests and extending their horizons,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may find their real passion.
For example
, I have read a book about a mountain climber, who had tried climbing for the
first
time as part of a camping trip he went on,
Possible spelling mistake found.
whoch
later became his profession.
Lastly
, escaping the hectic routine by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
unfamiliar things, will reveal the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, relax the body and the mind and boost the spirit. On the other side,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
things they are familiar with say that, since it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, one should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
it
Consider replacing "in a safe way" with the adverb for "safe"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a safe way
. They are afraid of facing an unpleasant experience or even a deadly one.
Moreover
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is better to exploit the time they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
excel jobs, or to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their existing relationships.
Finally
, they may argue that, they have already found what they are passionate
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
about and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
it.
To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
differ in their attitudes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are outgoing, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
an easy relaxed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
pattern. I
firmly
believe that for a healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, everyone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
break their routine and try
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
and then.

IELTS essay Some people like to try new things, for example, places to visit and types of food. Other prefer to keep doing things they are familiar with.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
262 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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