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The first man to walk on the moon claimed it was a step forward for mankind. However, it has made little difference in most people’s lives.

The first man to walk on the moon claimed it was a step forward for mankind. However, it has made little difference in most people’s lives. DD76
Let's face it, space exploration revolution in our world, as the last decade. Yuri Gagarin left on the moon, people's lifestyles have changed significantly far. From my point of view, the benefits people earned in this section may be greater than the minimum disadvantages. On the one hand, investment in space projects are less important than other problems people have. The first of these is the food of the poor. Every year billions of dollars are considered large number of developed countries in this sector, while the money can be used for more essential parts, including agriculture. In particular, in Africa, thousands of people die because of the shortage of food in a year; However, if the US government assistance to these countries, more people would have survived. Also, instead of focusing on a space flight, international organizations should pay attention more on the refugees. Every year thousands of people in the Middle East are losing their homes and are forced to leave their country. As a simple example, in recent years hundreds of thousands of people in Syria, fled to Europe, while never send a spacecraft to Mars may be useful to protect them. As a result, humanity has more important issues that need to be addressed than sending man to the moon. On the other hand, I think that the benefits derived from space travel can be much greater than its marginal deficiencies. The first reason for this is that it has led other technology to develop more. Definitely not the scientists used a space navigation technology in the aircraft, passengers would not have achieved their goal so quickly. For example, the materials used in the body are copied from new aircraft Shuttle, increasing their speed and having a more efficient fuel consumption. In addition, it will help people to find another planet to live. It is obvious that to learn more about space and other planets will help scientists to find another option for the Earth except because we can not predict how long our factory is still alive. For this reason, in recent years, scientists at NASA to send some volunteers to Mars to learn more about their environment and the likely choice for the people's lives in the future. Not having a security plan thoughtful of other generations can be more at risk for some unpredictable natural disasters that destroy our globe. To summarize, although the space exploration can be futile when compared with the other important issues of the nation, its benefits should not be overlooked. I personally believe that this has led people to live in a modern world and a safer alternative to the planet can be found with this development.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
's face it,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
exploration revolution in our world, as the last decade. Yuri Gagarin
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
on the moon,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's lifestyles have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
significantly
far. From my point of view, the benefits
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
earned in this section may be greater than the minimum disadvantages.

On the one hand, investment in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
projects are less
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
problems
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have. The
first
of these is the food of the poor. Every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
billions of dollars
are considered
large number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
in this sector, while the money can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for more essential parts, including agriculture.
In particular
, in Africa, thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the shortage of food in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
;
However
, if the US
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
assistance to these countries, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would have survived.
Also
,
instead
of focusing on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
flight, international organizations should pay attention more on the refugees. Every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the Middle East are losing their homes and
are forced
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their country. As a simple example, in recent years hundreds of thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in Syria, fled to Europe, while never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
a spacecraft to Mars may be useful to protect them.
As a result
, humanity has more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
issues that need to
be addressed
than sending
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
to the moon.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the benefits derived from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
travel can be much greater than its marginal deficiencies. The
first
reason for this is that it has led
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
technology to develop more. Definitely not the scientists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
navigation technology in the aircraft, passengers would not have achieved their goal
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
quickly
.
For example
, the materials
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the body
are copied
from new aircraft Shuttle, increasing their speed and having a more efficient fuel consumption.
In addition
, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to find another planet to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. It is obvious that to learn more about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
planets will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
scientists to find another option for the Earth except
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we can not predict how long our factory is
still
alive.
For this reason
, in recent years, scientists at NASA to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
volunteers to Mars to learn more about their environment and the likely choice for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in the future. Not having a security plan thoughtful of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
generations can be more at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
unpredictable natural disasters that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
our globe.

To summarize
, although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
exploration can be futile when compared with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
issues of the nation, its benefits should not
be overlooked
. I
personally
believe that this has led
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a modern world and a safer alternative to the planet can
be found
with this development.
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IELTS essay The first man to walk on the moon claimed it was a step forward for mankind. However, it has made little difference in most people’s lives.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
449 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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