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The first graph below shows number of students enrolling in the Diplomatic Academy of Vietnam in 2015, 2017, 2019, and 2021 while the second one illustrates the participation in different faculties of the undergraduates of the Academy in 2021.

The first graph below shows number of students enrolling in the Diplomatic Academy of Vietnam in 2015, 2017, 2019, and 2021 while the second one illustrates the participation in different faculties of the undergraduates of the Academy in 2021. wOBpl
The bar chart illustrates Diplomatic Academy in terms of how many students engaged in academy over a period of six years, and the pie chart compares the proportion of involvement in several faculties of the Academy's undergraduates in 2021. Overall, it can be seen that the number of students who study in Diplomatic Academy significantly increases through the period shown, with the figures in 2021 being highest. Furthermore, look at the pie chart, the facilities in this cdemy witnessed the difference of the participation. Observing the bar graph, in 2015, Diplomatic Academy became a teaching place for approximately 1700 students. The number of students increased marginally to 2500 students in 2017 before experiencing a moderate decrease of 500 in 2019. In the year 2021, the figure for this academy soared to 3500 students, and became the highest figure in the bar chart. In addition, the percentage of students taking English courses accounted for 30%, was the most popular class, followed by. . . International Relations and International multimedia which had the same amount of people joining. At 15%, the figures for International Laws and International Economics were half as much as that of English
The bar chart illustrates Diplomatic
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Academy
in terms of how
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many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
engaged in
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academy
over a period of six years, and the pie chart compares the proportion of involvement in several faculties of the Academy's undergraduates in 2021.

Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who study in Diplomatic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Academy
significantly
increases through the period shown, with the
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figures
in 2021 being highest.
Furthermore
, look at the pie chart, the facilities in this
Possible spelling mistake found.
cdemy
witnessed the difference of the participation.

Observing the bar graph, in 2015, Diplomatic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Academy
became a teaching place for approximately 1700
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. The number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
increased
marginally
to 2500
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students
in 2017
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before
experiencing a moderate decrease of 500 in 2019. In the year 2021, the
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figure
for this
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academy
soared to 3500
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students
, and became the highest
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figure
in the bar chart.

In addition
, the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
taking English courses accounted for 30%, was the most popular
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, followed by.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
International
Relations and
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International
multimedia which had the same amount of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
joining. At 15%, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
International
Laws and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
International
Economics were half as much as that of
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
English
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IELTS essay The first graph below shows number of students enrolling in the Diplomatic Academy of Vietnam in 2015, 2017, 2019, and 2021 while the second one illustrates the participation in different faculties of the undergraduates of the Academy in 2021.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
193 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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