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Is it important to spend more funding on art by government do you agree or disagree

Is it important to spend more funding on art by government dloNP
Indeed, it is undoubtedly true that art plays a crucial role in human's life. It also open the door of success. However, most of the individuals argue that government should spend money on art. Well, I totally agree with the statement and I would discuss in my forthcoming paragraphs why government should encourage art by finding. To embark with, art is an activity in which people take interest by heart. There are many reasons of this that why government must be expend money on craft. The first and the formost cause is, it encourages persons to pursue their skills which they have. By continuing these activities are included the chances of success more, along with they can become popular in all over the world. They can increase their reputation not only in their society but also in the whole world. In addition, by encouraging art or craft activity is also enhanced the job opportunities. In other word, by funding more on this type of activity Would be reduced the growth of unemployment that would be improved individual's per capita income which can give a big contribution to strengthen the nation's economy. It can put an effective impact on people 's lifestyle. For instance, in the world, the majority of countries have spend their 20% wealth from their complete salary expend on art, which was revealed by WHO on its previous year's report. Eventually, it can be observed that government must have spend their money on art which will encourage People and also include the job opportunities for the civic of that particular nation.
Indeed
, it is
undoubtedly
true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
plays a crucial role in human's life. It
also
open the door of success.
However
, most of the individuals argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should spend money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
. Well, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement and I would discuss in my forthcoming paragraphs why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
by finding.

To embark with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
in which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
take
In English, people don't say "interest by'. They say, "interest in'. Did you mean "interest in"?
interest by
heart. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons of this that why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
Consider using the past participle "expended"?
expend
money on craft. The
first
and the
Possible spelling mistake found.
formost
cause is, it encourages persons to pursue their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which they have. By continuing these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are included
the chances of success more, along with they can become popular in all over the world. They can increase their reputation not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in their society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
in the whole world.

In addition
, by encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
or craft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
is
also
enhanced the job opportunities. In other word, by funding more on this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
Would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the growth of unemployment that would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
individual's per capita income which can give a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
contribution to strengthen the nation's economy. It can put an effective impact on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's lifestyle.
For instance
, in the world, the majority of countries have
Use past participle here: "spent".
spend
their 20% wealth from their complete salary expend on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
, which
was revealed
by WHO on its previous year's report.

Eventually
, it can
be observed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have
Use past participle here: "spent".
spend
their money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
which will encourage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
and
also
include the job opportunities for the civic of that particular nation.
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IELTS essay Is it important to spend more funding on art by government

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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