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The end of the world's fossil fuels resources and subsequent changes will be positive development in society. To what extent you agree or disagree?

The end of the world's fossil fuels resources and subsequent changes will be positive development in society. 3x2MJ
There was a debate about fossil fuel resources. Some people claim that the end of fossil fuels in the worldwide chain will have detrimental effects on the community. However, I strongly advocate the opposite side and in this essay I will discuss main consequences of expiration of minerals usage. First and foremost, the absence of fossil fuels can lead to change of natural resources. This means that after being lost, people need to replace these minerals and main resources of energy to environmentally friendlier processes such as getting electricity from wind or obtaining heat from the Sun. As a result, by development of ecological ways of natural resource extraction, we can move to higher level of evolution. Secondly, unavailability of fossil fuels causes the termination of harm on the earth. In other words, problems that may occur during extraction cannot be dangerous to our society, if there would be the end of fossil fuel resources. Most of industries used to produce materials by bombing or crushing the soil, which afterwards leads to global issues. However, after ending of fossils there is no need to search anything else from the depth of the earth. In addition, if resources are fully spent, there could be an opportunity to restore damaged. After being recovered, we can use the land for the second time. Turning to the conclusion, I totally agree with the statement that the end of the fossil fuels can provide beneficial improvement in society. Because it can encourage people to try new ways of providing good conditions and start caring for the environment by soil restoration and so on.
There was a debate about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
resources.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
in the worldwide chain will have detrimental effects on the community.
However
, I
strongly
advocate the opposite side and in this essay I will discuss main consequences of expiration of minerals usage.

First
and foremost, the absence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
can lead to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
of natural resources. This means that after
being lost
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
need to replace these minerals and main resources of energy to
environmentally
friendlier processes such as getting electricity from wind or obtaining heat from the Sun.
As a result
, by development of ecological ways of natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
resource
extraction, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to higher level of evolution.

Secondly
, unavailability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
causes the termination of harm on the earth.
In other words
, problems that may occur during extraction cannot be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
to our society, if there would be the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
resources.
After 'Most of', you should use 'the' ("Most of the industries") or simply say "Most industries".
Most of industries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to produce materials by bombing or crushing the soil, which afterwards leads to global issues.
However
, after ending of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossils
there is no need to search anything else from the depth of the earth.
In addition
, if resources are
fully
spent, there could be an opportunity to restore damaged. After
being recovered
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the land for the second time.

Turning to the conclusion, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
can provide beneficial improvement in society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
it can encourage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to try new ways of providing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
conditions and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
caring for the environment by soil restoration and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
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IELTS essay The end of the world's fossil fuels resources and subsequent changes will be positive development in society.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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