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“The Elderly should live in nursing house”

“The Elderly should live in nursing house” wKkon
Nowadays, people always forget about their parents. Even though they are busy, the elderly need to take care of and to be loved. The elderly should not live in nursing homes due to the duty of a son or daughter that needs to take some action and good children need to have a sense of family and lastly, the maid service is available at home to serve our parents. Thus, I disagree with the issue that some people want to take their parents to live in nursing homes. So that, there are some reasons I would consider why the elderly have to live with their son or daughter. First of all, there is the possibility of elderly being neglected. Negligence in nursing homes occurs when elderly in nursing homes do not get proper care resulting in mental or physical suffering for patients. Many people think abuse only describes physical injuries and do not realize that neglect is a type of abuse as well. There are also plenty of nurses who intentionally fail to care for elderly and do not do their job properly. For instance, a lack of social interaction. Many elderly grow to feel isolated from the world around them and they need someone to talk to. A neglectful staff member should be held responsible if their action leads to harm and wrongful death. Consequently, elderly can feel like being at home and live their rest of life happily even without their families on their side. Secondly, I would like to highlight that the action of placing parents in the nursing home will eradicate the sense of family from one's perspective. The elderly people might feel abandoned if they have been taking care of by other people who are not their own blood. In my opinion, elder people should not be abandoned by their families in their old age during which they need more emotional support than any other period in life. This could affect their physical and mental health and develop into adverse psychological and emotional issues. For example, the elderly people such as our parents will act up by not eating or being not social with anyone due to not being familiar with everyone except for their own blood. This proven that, if we make our parents feel abandoned, we have no sense of family. Furthermore, there also for some reasons, it is just because they want the family to vibrate around them. Some elderly people are also so independent that they have a hard time accepting help from others. Other elderly people have problems living in a nursing home because they have a hard time accepting help from others. Some of them feel it is hard to get along with certain staff members because of personality differences. These problems can make it difficult for many elderly people to live in nursing homes because their personalities make it hard to adapt to some living situations. For example, if they need something like want to go to the toilet, they preferred getting help from their daughter or sons rather than anybody who does not relate with them. There also have parents who do not like to live in social life. Besides that, they actually like to spend time with their children and grandchildren at home and live with them. So, I disagree the elderly live in nursing homes because they want the family to vibrate around them. In conclusion, I think, those elderly, who have offsprings or relatives to support and take care of them, they should live with their surroundings because of the emotional attachments. As we can see, sending our parents to the nursing home is actually optional. It depends on us as a child. However, parents might be offended if we do that. So as a good child, the most important thing is to give our full care, attention, pride and joy for our parents before it is too late. At least they will be happy to have raised a good child when we already give our best version of us when they are still there because when the time comes, it is already too late for us to regret it. Do appreciate every precious moment with our beloved family and do remember that blood is thicker than water.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always forget about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
Even though
they are busy, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of and to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
should not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in nursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
due to the duty of a son or daughter that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
action and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to have a sense of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and
lastly
, the maid service is available at home to serve our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
Thus
, I disagree with the issue that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to take their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in nursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons I would consider why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
with their son or daughter.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, there is the possibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
being neglected
. Negligence in nursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
occurs when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
in nursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
resulting in mental or physical suffering for patients.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
abuse
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describes
physical injuries and do not realize that neglect is a type of abuse
as well
. There are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of nurses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
intentionally
fail to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
and do not do their job
properly
.
For instance
, a lack of social interaction.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
grow to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
isolated from the world around
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
them and
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
someone to talk to. A neglectful staff member should
be held
responsible if their action leads to harm and wrongful death.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
like being at home and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
their rest of life
happily
even without their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
on their side.

Secondly
, I would like to highlight that the action of placing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in the nursing home will eradicate the sense of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
from one's perspective. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
abandoned if they have been taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are not their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
blood. In my opinion, elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should not
be abandoned
by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
in their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age during which they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
more emotional support than any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
period in life. This could affect their physical and mental health and develop into adverse psychological and emotional issues.
For example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
such as our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
will act up by not eating or being not social with anyone due to not being familiar with everyone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
blood. This proven that, if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
abandoned, we have no sense of family.

Furthermore
, there
also
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
to vibrate around them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
independent that they have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
accepting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from others.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have problems living in a nursing home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
accepting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from others.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
along with certain staff members
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of personality differences. These problems can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it difficult for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in nursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their personalities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
to adapt to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
living situations.
For example
, if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
something like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to go to the
This expression can be considered mildly offensive (especially in Canadian and American English).
toilet
, they preferred getting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from their daughter or sons
rather
than anybody
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
does not relate with them. There
also
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do not like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in social life.
Besides
that, they actually like to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their children and grandchildren at home and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
with them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I disagree the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in nursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
to vibrate around them.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
or relatives to support and take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of them, they should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
with their surroundings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the emotional attachments. As we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
, sending our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to the nursing home is actually optional. It depends on us as a child.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
might
be offended
if we do that.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
child, the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing is to give our full
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
, attention, pride and joy for our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it is too late. At least they will be happy to have raised a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
child when we already give our best version of us when they are
still
there
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
, it is already too late for us to regret it. Do appreciate every precious moment with our beloved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and do remember that blood is thicker than water.
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IELTS essay “The Elderly should live in nursing house”

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
714 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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