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DESCRIBE AN EXCITING COMPETITION OR SPORTING EVENT YOU HAVE WITNESSED

DESCRIBE AN EXCITING COMPETITION OR SPORTING EVENT YOU HAVE WITNESSED XD8jY
Football is one of the exciting sports and I love watching the matches related to this sport. At the beginning of 2018. I witnessed a historic football match of the Vietnamese national football team representing my country playing in Changzhou, China. So far, Vietnam is known to be a weak team compared to other countries. But in the AFC U23 Championship, under the guidance of coach Park Hang Seo, the Vietnam team proved their bravery when in turn won the goals against others and the Vietnam team are through to the AFC U23 Championship Final. In the final round, Vietnam encountered Uzbekistan and faced a big disadvantage in terms of climate when heavy snow didn’t stop fall in. The team lost in the last minute of injury time, making the fans regret. However, everyone was still very happy and proud of U23 Vietnam. When the players returned Vietnam, thousands of people picked up all the streets. The team has received the State’s commendation medal.
Football is one of the exciting sports and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
watching the matches related to this sport. At the beginning of 2018. I witnessed a historic football match of the Vietnamese national football
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
representing my country playing in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Changzhou
, China.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
far, Vietnam
is known
to be a weak
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
compared to other countries.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in the AFC U23 Championship, under the guidance of coach Park Hang
Possible spelling mistake found.
Seo
, the Vietnam
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
proved their bravery when in turn won the goals against others and the Vietnam
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
are through to the AFC U23 Championship Final. In the final round, Vietnam encountered Uzbekistan and faced a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
disadvantage in terms of climate when heavy snow didn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
fall in. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
lost in the last minute of injury time, making the fans regret.
However
, everyone was
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
happy and proud of U23 Vietnam. When the players returned Vietnam, thousands of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
picked up all the streets. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
has received the State’s commendation medal.
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IELTS essay DESCRIBE AN EXCITING COMPETITION OR SPORTING EVENT YOU HAVE WITNESSED

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
164 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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