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THE EARTH IS SUFFERING FROM MANY BASIC PROBLEMS AND STILL GOVERNMENT OF DIFFERENT COUNTRIES ARE SPENDING HUGE AMOUNTS OF MONEY ON SPACE EXPLORATION. TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE WITH THIS STATEMENT?

THE EARTH IS SUFFERING FROM MANY BASIC PROBLEMS AND STILL GOVERNMENT OF DIFFERENT COUNTRIES ARE SPENDING HUGE AMOUNTS OF MONEY ON SPACE EXPLORATION. joMMN
AS MANY COUNTRIES ARE FACING SEVERAL DIFFICULTIES FULFILLING DAILY NEEDS, EVEN SO, A LARGE NUMBER OF FUNDS ARE BEING SPENT ON SPACE RESEARCH BY THE GOVERNMENT OF DISTINCT NATIONS. IN MY OPINION, ALTHOUGH THE SPACE EXPLORATION BRINGS THE SOLUTION TO MANY UNFORESEEN EVENTS, IT IS UNLIKELY TO UNNOTICED THE BASIC NEEDS OF COUNTRY PEOPLE. IT MUST BE ADMITTED THAT MANY NATIONS ARE SUFFERING FROM THE PROBLEMS SUCH AS POVERTY, UNEMPLOYMENT, HEALTH FACILITIES, PROPER EDUCATION, ELECTRICITY AND ARE STILL UNDERDEVELOPED. IN THAT REGARD, RATHER THAN SPENDING AN EXORBITANT AMOUNT OF FUNDS ON SPACE RESEARCH, GOVERNMENT SHOULD INVEST SOME PROPORTION TO THE GROWTH OF VARIOUS NECESSITIES OF THE PEOPLE. FOR EXAMPLE, TO ELIMINATE PROBLEMS LIKE POVERTY, GOVERNMENT SHOULD UPDATE THE OUTDATED EDUCATION SYSTEM WHICH IS THE ULTIMATE ROOT OF ILLITERACY AND UNEMPLOYMENT. MOREOVER, PEOPLE ALSO FACE THE HEALTH PROBLEMS AS MANY RURAL AND REMOTE AREAS DO NOT REACH OUT FOR MEDICAL HELP. ALSO, MANY SUCH AREAS ARE HINDERED BY ELECTRICITY AND ARE NOT HAVING A PROPER LIGHT CONNECTION. THUS, MONEY SHOULD BE SPENT ON PROVIDING HEALTH AND POWER SUPPLY. ON THE CONTRARY, THERE IS SOME USEFULNESS OF SPACE RESEARCH. HENCE, IT BECOMES WORTHFUL TO SPEND A MINIMAL AMOUNT OF CAPITAL ON IT. SPACE RESEARCH HAS GIFTED MUCH FRUITFUL INFORMATION AND MAKE US AWARE OF THE EVENTS LIKE METEOR SHOWERS OR STRIKING OF COMET AND MANY MORE. FURTHERMORE, FUNDING SPACE ORGANISATION BRINGS REVOLUTION IN THE BUSINESS SECTOR. AS THE BUSINESSES ARE SPREAD GLOBALLY, COMMUNICATION BECOMES NECESSARY TO RUN THE BUSINESS EFFECTIVELY. FOR THIS THE SATELLITES NEED TO BE LAUNCHED IN THE ORBIT, WHICH HAS UTTERLY BECOME POSSIBLE WITH THE HELP OF SPACE CENTRES. TO CONCLUDE, I FIRMLY BELIEVE THAT GOVERNMENTS OF DIFFERENT NATIONS SHOULD NOT ONLY FUND THE SPACE EXPLORATION BUT ALSO SHOULD TAKE, THE PROBLEMS FACED BY THE COUNTRY PEOPLE, INTO CONSIDERATION. NONETHELESS, THEY SHOULD PROVIDE THE FACILITIES TO ELIMINATE SOME BASIC PROBLEMS LIKE POVERTY AND HEALTH PROBLEMS FOR THE BETTERMENT OF PEOPLE AND DEVELOPING THEIR COUNTRIES.
AS
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
MANY
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COUNTRIES
ARE FACING SEVERAL DIFFICULTIES FULFILLING DAILY NEEDS, EVEN
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SO
,
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
A LARGE NUMBER OF
FUNDS ARE
BEING SPENT
ON
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SPACE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
RESEARCH
BY THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
GOVERNMENT
OF DISTINCT NATIONS. IN MY OPINION, ALTHOUGH THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SPACE
EXPLORATION BRINGS THE SOLUTION TO
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
MANY
UNFORESEEN
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
EVENTS
, IT IS UNLIKELY TO UNNOTICED THE BASIC NEEDS OF
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
COUNTRY
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
PEOPLE
.

IT
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MUST
BE ADMITTED
THAT
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
MANY
NATIONS ARE SUFFERING FROM THE
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PROBLEMS
SUCH AS POVERTY, UNEMPLOYMENT,
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HEALTH
FACILITIES, PROPER EDUCATION, ELECTRICITY AND ARE
STILL
UNDERDEVELOPED. IN THAT REGARD,
RATHER
THAN SPENDING AN EXORBITANT AMOUNT OF FUNDS ON
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SPACE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
RESEARCH
,
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GOVERNMENT
SHOULD INVEST
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
PROPORTION TO THE GROWTH OF VARIOUS NECESSITIES OF THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
.
FOR EXAMPLE
, TO ELIMINATE
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PROBLEMS
LIKE POVERTY,
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GOVERNMENT
SHOULD UPDATE THE OUTDATED EDUCATION SYSTEM WHICH IS THE ULTIMATE ROOT OF ILLITERACY AND UNEMPLOYMENT.
MOREOVER
,
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PEOPLE
ALSO
FACE THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
HEALTH
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PROBLEMS
AS
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
MANY
RURAL AND REMOTE AREAS DO NOT REACH OUT FOR MEDICAL
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
HELP
.
ALSO
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
MANY
SUCH AREAS
ARE HINDERED
BY ELECTRICITY AND ARE NOT HAVING A PROPER LIGHT CONNECTION.
THUS
, MONEY SHOULD
BE SPENT
ON PROVIDING
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HEALTH
AND POWER SUPPLY.

ON THE CONTRARY
, THERE IS
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
USEFULNESS OF
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SPACE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
RESEARCH
.
HENCE
, IT BECOMES
Possible spelling mistake found.
WORTHFUL
TO SPEND A MINIMAL AMOUNT OF CAPITAL ON IT.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SPACE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
RESEARCH
HAS GIFTED MUCH FRUITFUL INFORMATION AND
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
MAKE
US AWARE OF THE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
EVENTS
LIKE METEOR SHOWERS OR STRIKING OF COMET AND
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
MANY
MORE.
FURTHERMORE
, FUNDING
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SPACE
Possible spelling mistake. 'ORGANISATION' is British English.
ORGANISATION
BRINGS REVOLUTION IN THE BUSINESS SECTOR. AS THE BUSINESSES
ARE SPREAD
GLOBALLY, COMMUNICATION BECOMES NECESSARY TO RUN THE BUSINESS
EFFECTIVELY
. FOR THIS THE SATELLITES NEED TO
BE LAUNCHED
IN THE ORBIT, WHICH HAS
UTTERLY
BECOME POSSIBLE WITH THE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
HELP
OF
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SPACE
Possible spelling mistake. 'CENTRES' is British English.
CENTRES
.

TO CONCLUDE
, I
FIRMLY
BELIEVE THAT
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
GOVERNMENTS
OF
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
DIFFERENT
NATIONS SHOULD NOT
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ONLY
FUND THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SPACE
EXPLORATION
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BUT
ALSO
SHOULD TAKE, THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PROBLEMS
FACED BY THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
COUNTRY
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
, INTO CONSIDERATION. NONETHELESS, THEY SHOULD PROVIDE THE FACILITIES TO ELIMINATE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
BASIC
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PROBLEMS
LIKE POVERTY AND
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
HEALTH
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PROBLEMS
FOR THE BETTERMENT OF
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
AND DEVELOPING THEIR
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
COUNTRIES
.
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Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay THE EARTH IS SUFFERING FROM MANY BASIC PROBLEMS AND STILL GOVERNMENT OF DIFFERENT COUNTRIES ARE SPENDING HUGE AMOUNTS OF MONEY ON SPACE EXPLORATION.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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