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the destruction of the ecosystem is solely due to man's carelessness nature. If nothing is done, both the ecosystem and man will face serious consequences.

the destruction of the ecosystem is solely due to man's carelessness nature. If nothing is done, both the ecosystem and man will face serious consequences. LqbBV
In this modern eras, we have seen that most man start struggles in order to survive with high cost live expenses that mostly keep increasing year by year. Due to the fact, any method that available were used to generate income until some of them were ignored the importance of preserving our ecosystem hence, it causes lot of destruction to us but also to several creatures out there. Then, have you ever imagine what will happen in the future if these acts were keep going? Thus, I strongly believe that, the destruction of our ecosystem were came from our man's carelessness nature because it causes the extinction of exotic animals and flowers, many pollution happen and the emergence of various new disease occurs. First and foremost, when we look our ecosystem right now, we can see that most of our beautiful nature and exotic animal as well as flowers were slowly extinct. This is due to the harsh act of our mankind that start to do illegal logging to every forest on our earth even though the forest which has been gazette by the government. As the result our animals had to face several problems like in the phase of extinction and a few of them had lost their natural habitat. That's why we can see that in our newspapers nowadays many animal will stray around our residentials area. Besides that a numbers of them also had to be the victims of illegal poaching too and causes the numbers of our exotic animals like tigers, Malayan tapirs and rhinos decrease then it will completely vanish and there will be no more animal for our future generations. Therefore, I agreed that destructions of our ecosystem were came from our own and causes the extinction of exotic animals and flowers. Secondly, some of our people's become greed for great fortune and easy life make them become blind and selfish by over-exploiting the nature and do lots of pollution that causes many disaster. To elaborate more, some of them tend to built their factories near the rivers then by owing to the fact that numerous rivers and lake were polluted by the toxins and chemical ingredients that they release willingly without thinking what will happen to the water. Then, can ever imagine if all of our source of water were polluted and there were no more pure water for us. Despite of the toxins and chemicals ingredients that had been released, they also tends to throw all the waste in the dump or any drains then when the monsoon season arrive there will be floods occurs because the clogged drain system. Thus, I believe that the greediness of our mankind leads to the destruction of our ecosystem then causes many pollution. Lastly, nowadays if we scrolling our social media it reports that there were emergence of various new disease like flu, H1N1 and leptospirosis from rats and most of these disease came from unsanitary environmental areas. Due to the lack of awareness some of our people causes the situation even worst. For example, there were lot dumps of wastes and rubbishes around us attract a lot of pests like rats, cockroach and rodents where these bringing along the viruses. Then, it will started to spread the infection to us but some can causes us to death. As a result, In my personal stand most of our destruction in our earth were due to lack of awareness about cleanliness causes the emergence of various new kinds of disease. As a conclusion, to make sure our ecosystem stay preserve for our next generation we need make sure all of our people were well educate to the importance of ecosystem for our self, after that we can make sure that our ecosystem were stay taken care by us. Hence, for that reason I strongly agreed that the destruction of our ecosystem were start from our own careless mistake because it can effect to the exotic animals and flowers in the phase on extinction, many pollution happen as well as the emergence of various new disease occurs in lovely planet.
In this modern eras, we have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
struggles in order to survive with high cost
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
expenses that
mostly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
increasing year by year.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Due
to the fact, any method that available were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to generate income until
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
the importance of preserving our ecosystem
hence
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
destruction
to us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to several creatures out there. Then, have you ever imagine what will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happen
in the future if these acts were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
going?
Thus
, I
strongly
believe that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
destruction
of our ecosystem were
Consider using a past participle here: "come".
came
from our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
's carelessness nature
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exotic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and flowers,
Possible agreement error. The noun pollution seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much pollution", "a good deal of pollution".
many pollution
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happen
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emergence
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
occurs.

First
and foremost, when we look our ecosystem right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that most of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
nature and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exotic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
as well
as flowers were
slowly
extinct. This is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the harsh act of our mankind that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to do illegal logging to every forest on our earth
even though
the forest which has been gazette by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. As the result our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
had to face several problems like in the phase of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
and a few of them had lost their natural habitat. That's why we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that in our newspapers nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
will stray around our
Possible spelling mistake found.
residentials
area.
Besides
that
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a number" or simply "numbers"?
a numbers
of them
also
had to be the victims of illegal poaching too and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
the numbers of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exotic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
like tigers, Malayan tapirs and rhinos decrease then it will completely vanish and there will be no more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
for our future generations.
Therefore
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that
Possible spelling mistake found.
destructions
of our ecosystem were
Consider using a past participle here: "come".
came
from our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exotic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and flowers.

Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of our
Consider using the plural form here: "peoples".
people's
become greed for great fortune and easy life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them become blind and selfish by over-exploiting the nature and do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of pollution that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
Possible agreement error. The noun disaster seems to be countable; consider using: "many disasters".
many disaster
. To elaborate more,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them tend to built their factories near the rivers then by owing to the fact that numerous rivers and lake
were polluted
by the toxins and chemical ingredients that they release
willingly
without thinking what will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happen
to the water. Then, can ever imagine if all of our source of water
were polluted
and there were no more pure water for us.
Did you mean "Despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
Despite of
the toxins and chemicals ingredients that had
been released
, they
also
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "tend"
tends
to throw all the waste in the dump or any drains then when the monsoon season arrive there will be floods occurs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the clogged drain system.
Thus
, I believe that the greediness of our mankind leads to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
destruction
of our ecosystem then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
Possible agreement error. The noun pollution seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much pollution", "a good deal of pollution".
many pollution
.

Lastly
, nowadays if
Did you mean "we're scrolling", "we are scrolling", or "we were scrolling"?
we scrolling
our social media it reports that there were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emergence
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
like flu, H1N1 and
Possible spelling mistake found.
leptospirosis
from rats and most of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
came from unsanitary environmental areas.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Due
to the lack of awareness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
causes
the situation even worst.
For example
, there were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
dumps of wastes and rubbishes around us attract a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of pests like rats, cockroach and rodents where these bringing along the viruses. Then, it will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "start"
started
to spread the infection to us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
us to death.
As a result
, In my personal stand most of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
destruction
in our earth were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to lack of awareness about cleanliness
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emergence
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
kinds of disease.

As a conclusion, to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
sure our ecosystem stay preserve for our
next
generation we need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
sure all of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were well
Consider using a past participle here: "educated".
educate
to the importance of ecosystem for our self, after that we can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
sure that our ecosystem
Did you mean "where" or "we"?
were
Consider using a past participle here: "staid", "stayed".
stay
taken care by us.
Hence
, for that reason I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
destruction
of our ecosystem
Did you mean "where" or "we"?
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
from our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
careless mistake
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can effect to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exotic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and flowers in the phase on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
,
Possible agreement error. The noun pollution seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much pollution", "a good deal of pollution".
many pollution
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happen
as well
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emergence
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
occurs in lovely planet.
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IELTS essay the destruction of the ecosystem is solely due to man's carelessness nature. If nothing is done, both the ecosystem and man will face serious consequences.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
683 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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