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The deadly coronavirus COVID-19 has spread to at least 69 countries, affecting all aspects of life. As part of its disastrous influence, Vietnamese schools at all levels have been closed for more than a month. There is a common argument that children should be allowed to go back to school for the sake of themselves, their family and the whole society. How far do you agree with this opinion? v.2

The deadly coronavirus COVID-19 has spread to at least 69 countries, affecting all aspects of life. As part of its disastrous influence, Vietnamese schools at all levels have been closed for more than a month. There is a common argument that children should be allowed to go back to school for the sake of themselves, their family and the whole society. How far do you agree with this opinion? v. 2
Despite the coronavirus disease 2019, some people hold the thought that it is necessary for students to go to school. Personally, I disagree with this idea and will discuss several compelling reasons in this essay. Firstly, the facilities of educational centres in Vietnam are not sufficiently developed to ensure the safety of children. In mountainous and rural areas, most schools do not yet have the health care system, as well as the necessary medical care equipment. Moreover, students going to school will also face the spread of disease due to the shortage of medical masks. As a result, schools might become the ideal environment for the epidemic. Secondly, the incubation period for this new disease is very long, and nobody can deny its complexity; therefore, it seems to be difficult to control the disease in schools. During the Tet holiday, many families take their children to travel in many places, so no one can be sure no child will get sick without any outward appearance. Moreover, children in this age are often hyperactive and not as alert as the adults while their immune system have not developed fully. It is very challenging to make sure that they will strictly follow the rules of medical examination such as wearing masks, restricting going out and washing their hands often. In conclusion, I do believe that we should consider carefully about the potential risks that children will have to face up to when they go back to school. The government should develop online learning forms to overcome this period. .
Despite the coronavirus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
2019,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
hold the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that it is necessary for students to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
Personally
, I disagree with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and will discuss several compelling reasons in this essay.

Firstly
, the facilities of educational
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
in Vietnam are not
sufficiently
developed to ensure the safety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. In mountainous and rural areas, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
do not
yet
have the health care system,
as well
as the necessary medical care equipment.
Moreover
, students going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
will
also
face the spread of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
due to the shortage of medical masks.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
might become the ideal environment for the epidemic.

Secondly
, the incubation period for this new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
long, and nobody can deny its complexity;
therefore
, it seems to be difficult to control the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. During the Tet holiday,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
families take their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to travel in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
places,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
no one can be sure no child will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
sick without any outward appearance.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in this age are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
hyperactive and not as alert as the adults while their immune system have not developed
fully
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
challenging to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that they will
strictly
follow the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
of medical examination such as wearing masks, restricting going out and washing their hands
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
.

In conclusion
, I do believe that we should consider
carefully
about the potential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face up to when they go back to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should develop online learning forms to overcome this period.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay The deadly coronavirus COVID-19 has spread to at least 69 countries, affecting all aspects of life. As part of its disastrous influence, Vietnamese schools at all levels have been closed for more than a month. There is a common argument that children should be allowed to go back to school for the sake of themselves, their family and the whole society. How far do you agree with this opinion? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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