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The day in the desert last week

The day in the desert last week gALkg

Last week we went to the desert. When we went to the desert, we had some obstacles and positive things. The sand entered our eyes. The positive things that happened there we communicated with each other. Also, we cooked together. However, we also faced many problems. The sand entered our eyes. Also, our car was stuck on quicksand. When we were eating, the sand came on our food. Honestly, we enjoyed it. Eventually, it was a nice experience, and it will be not the last one.

Last week we went to the desert. When we went to the desert, we had This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
some
 obstacles and This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:beneficial
positive
 things. The sand entered our eyes. The This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:beneficial
positive
 things that happened there we communicated with each other. Also
, we cooked together. However
, we also
 faced This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a plethora ofa number ofnumerous
many
 problems. The sand entered our eyes. Also
, our car was stuck
 on quicksand. When we were eating, the sand came on our food. Honestly
, we enjoyed it. Eventually
, it was a nice experience, and it will be not the last one. 

IELTS essay The day in the desert last week

Essay

American English

1 paragraphs

86 words

This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1

4.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
?
One main idea per paragraph
Include an introduction and conclusion
Support main points with an explanation and then an example
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical Resource: 6.5

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 6.0

Answer all parts of the question
?
Present relevant ideas
Fully explain these ideas
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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