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The dangers of smoking are well known, yet many people continue with this habit.

The dangers of smoking are well known, yet many people continue with this habit. x6xo
We all know smoking is the bad behaviour but the cigarette company still exist and also legally selling the cigarette in the world. Lung cancer is one of the highest death diseases and smoking is the main reason to caused lung cancer. Even we know smoking is damaging our health and effective to other people, but why some people choose to pick up smoke? and why these people keep this bad behaviour and how to stop it? In this essay, we will be talking about it. In my experience, some of my family and friends are smoking. There have two main reasons to causes them to picked up this bad behaviour. First, some people in teens, they thought smoking looks so cool so they would like to smoke and pretend they are look cool and mature. Another reason is pressure. Whatever what kind of pressure, physically or mentally feel stress also make people want to find the way to relieve. One cigarette maybe provide a while of peace but people never thinks that after one cigarette and then another, then another one. . . once they have picked up and can't be easily quit to smoke. Why? It's because the nicotine is kind of drug. I know it is hard, but it actually have many way to quit smoking. There have some hospital is provide the quit smoking treatment. However, I think people can try their own way to quit this bad behaviour. I would suggest to do more excerses, like yoga, running and hiking to reduce stress. Also, meditation is a good way to release stress. Government should give more support to education department for teaching students stay away from smoking, and educated people of the fact why should not to smoking. In conclusion, even people picked up smoking but it doen't mean it cannot quit this bad behaviour. Government and school should give out more information to educate people to stay away of smoking.
We all know
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
is the
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bad
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
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but
the
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cigarette
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company
still
exist and
also
legally
selling the
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cigarette
in the world. Lung cancer is one of the highest death diseases and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
is the main reason to caused lung cancer. Even we know
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
is damaging our health and effective to other
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people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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people
choose to pick up smoke?
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and
why these
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people
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keep
this
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bad
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and how to
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stop
it? In this essay, we will be talking about it.

In my experience,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of my family and friends are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
. There have two main reasons to causes them to picked up this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.
First
,
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some
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people
in teens, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
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smoking
looks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
cool
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they would like to smoke and pretend they are look cool and mature. Another reason is pressure. Whatever what kind of pressure,
physically
or mentally feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
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people
want to find the way to relieve. One
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cigarette
maybe
Did you mean "provide awhile"?
provide a while
of peace
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but
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people
never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that after one
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cigarette
and then another, then another one.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
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once
they have picked up and can't be
easily
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quit
to smoke. Why? It's
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because
the nicotine is kind of drug.

I know it is
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hard
,
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but
it actually
Did you mean "has"?
have
Possible agreement error. The noun way seems to be countable; consider using: "many ways".
many way
to
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quit
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smoking
. There have
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some
hospital is
Consider using a past participle here: "provided".
provide
the
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quit
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smoking
treatment.
However
, I
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think
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people
can try their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
way to
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quit
this
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bad
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. I would
The verb 'suggest' is used with the gerund form: "suggest doing".
suggest to do
more
Possible spelling mistake found.
excerses
, like yoga, running and hiking to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
Also
, meditation is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to release
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should give more support to education department for teaching students stay away from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
, and educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of the fact why should not to smoking.

In conclusion
, even
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people
picked up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
Did you mean "doesn't"?
doen't
mean it cannot
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quit
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
and school should give out more information to educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to stay away of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
.
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IELTS essay The dangers of smoking are well known, yet many people continue with this habit.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
326 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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