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With prevalence of the internet, museums are no longer necessary. To what extent do you agree or disagree

With prevalence of the internet, museums are no longer necessary. AKrx
With development of internet, many people tend to research a lot of informations on internet. Therefore it is not necessary to travel to other country. That is why some people think that museums are not essential part in our society. However, others say that to operate museums is important to maintain our heritage. It is not only for showing off, it is more sincerely for our culture. As I mentioned, it is not requested to movement of our location and it is easy to get a lot informations which is what we want to get therefore these are reduced our time and cost. That is very huge positive aspect. In modern society, it is immensely important to have a high quietly of information. These people who think that to maintain museums are waste of money therefore if we don’t build museum then, probably it will save a lot of money. However, to maintain museum is not only for save the money or for to get information. It is better behavior to treat our heritage and root. That is why many decent countries are insist to build museum such as UK and other EU countries. the place which is contain history is immensely important for their citizens. Many children would learn various history and culture in the museum not online. Internet has limitation and it will never like the real world. As far as I concerned, there is no way to alternate to museum. It is not only for information and save the money or time and this attitude is more about personal needs, not for country. the way how we treat our heritage more sincerely is that maintain museum.
With development of internet,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to research
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
The word 'informations' is a legal term. In standard English, the word 'information' is a non-count noun. Did you mean "information"?
informations
on internet.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
it is not necessary to travel to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
That is
why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
are not essential part in our society.
However
, others say that to operate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
maintain
our heritage. It is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for showing off, it is more
sincerely
for our culture.

As I mentioned, it is not requested to movement of our location and it is easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a lot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
informations
which is what we want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
therefore
these are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
our time and cost.
That is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
huge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspect. In modern society, it is
immensely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to have a high
quietly
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
. These
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
maintain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
are waste of money
therefore
if we don’t build
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
then,
probably
it will save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money.

However
, to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
maintain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for save the money or for to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
. It is better behavior to treat our heritage and root.
That is
why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
decent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are
The usual collocation for "insist" is "on" not "to". Did you mean "insist on building"?
insist to build
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
such as UK and other EU
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
place which is
Consider using a past participle here: "contained".
contain
history is
immensely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for their citizens.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
children would learn various history and culture in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
not online. Internet has limitation and it will never like the real world.

As far as I concerned, there is no way to alternate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
. It is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
and save the money or time and this attitude is more about personal needs, not for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
way how we treat our heritage more
sincerely
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
maintain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
.
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IELTS essay With prevalence of the internet, museums are no longer necessary.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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