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The dangers of smoking are well known, yet many people continue with this habit. What are the causes of this? How can we reduce smoking in society?

The dangers of smoking are well known, yet many people continue with this habit. What are the causes of this? How can we reduce smoking in society? jxxy
Nowadays, increasing number of people suffer from numerous critical diseases namely cancer, due to consumption of cigarettes. The effects of smoking are well-known by the society, however many individuals are continuing this habit, because cigarettes are highly addictive. This essay will examine possible reasons behind this phenomenon and provide possible solutions to decrease smoking rate within society. Firstly, peer pressure is one of main reasons of smoking within teenagers. Young people always try to be on trend and follow their friends habits, due to the fact that they want to be involved and accepted by their friends. For instance, most recent research findings show that in United States of America, more than 65% of current smokers started smoking in their high school years with their friends. Secondly, smokers often state that smoking helps them reduce their stress level. Although this is not an actual fact, this is the second key reason behind this addiction. Even though they know the consequences of smoking, they become so dependent on it to deal with their stress and anxiety. Lastly, smoke industry is an extremely important revenue source for the governments. They get great amount of tax returns from imported cigarettes and that is why inadequate action is taken to reduce smoking. On the other hand, smoking can be reduced in the population by obtaining healthy habits researched by health experts. Regular exercising is one of the best methods of reducing the craving for the additives in the cigarettes. In addition, during school hours, one or two classes can be dedicated regularly to raise awareness towards smoking and the effects of it. Moreover, governments should stop thinking about the income they get from smokers, they should minimise the areas of allowed smoking and higher cigarette prices should be set to make them less affordable for public. In conclusion, although most of the population is aware about effects of smoking, there is a continuous tendency towards this addiction. Individuals should try achieve a healthier lifestyle by working out daily and governments should impose more strict rules.
Nowadays, increasing number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
suffer from numerous critical diseases
namely
cancer, due to consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cigarettes
. The effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
are well-known by the society,
however
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals are continuing this habit,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cigarettes
are
highly
addictive. This essay will examine possible reasons behind this phenomenon and provide possible solutions to decrease
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
rate within society.

Firstly
, peer pressure is one of main reasons of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
within
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
. Young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
always try to be on trend and follow their friends habits, due to the fact that they want to
be involved
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
by their friends.
For instance
, most recent research findings
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the United States".
in United States
of America, more than 65% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
smokers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in their high school years with their friends.
Secondly
, smokers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
state that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
level. Although this is not an actual fact, this is the second key reason behind this addiction.
Even though
they know the consequences of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
, they become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
dependent on it to deal with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and anxiety.
Lastly
, smoke industry is an
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
revenue source for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
great amount of tax returns from imported
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cigarettes
and
that is
why inadequate action
is taken
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
smoking.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
in the population by obtaining healthy habits researched by health experts. Regular exercising is one of the best methods of reducing the craving for the additives in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cigarettes
.
In addition
, during school hours, one or two classes can
be dedicated
regularly
to raise awareness towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
and the effects of it.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
thinking about the income they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
from smokers, they should
Possible spelling mistake. 'minimise' is British English.
minimise
the areas of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
and higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cigarette
prices should
be set
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them less affordable for public.

In conclusion
, although most of the population is aware about effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
, there is a continuous tendency towards this addiction. Individuals should
Probably a preposition is missing after 'try'.
try achieve
a healthier lifestyle by working out daily and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should impose more strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
.
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IELTS essay The dangers of smoking are well known, yet many people continue with this habit. What are the causes of this? How can we reduce smoking in society?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
341 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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