Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The crime rate nowadays is decreasing compared to the past due to advances in technology which can prevent and solve crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.3

The crime rate nowadays is decreasing compared to the past due to advances in technology which can prevent and solve crime. v. 3
Crime is regarded as the modern day cancer. The technological advancements are helping policemen to solve the criminal cases. Many believe that this should result in a decrease in rate of unlawful acts. However, I do not agree with this statement because now committing an unlawful act has become easier as well. In the current times, the law enforcement forces are using multiple hi-tech gadgets to maintain law and order in the country. Now, multiple streets and shopping areas have been installed with surveillance cameras to prevent the crimes. Even if a crime is committed, then the footage from these cameras help the policemen to solve the cases. For example, the facial recognition softwares from Google, help them to track down the criminals. Similarly, if a person is using a smartphone, it has become very easy to find their whereabouts, using the maps and live location. On the contrary, today's cyber world is prone to multiple cyber crimes. All a bad guy needs is a computer, then they can commit multiple unlawful activities such as phishing, identity theft, cyber bullying, etc. As an example, cyber-crook may gain access to credit card or internet banking details of an innocent person and then can make transactions in someone else's name. Teenagers are also getting affected by a new world of offences. There have been multiple instances where a crooked group of students has been involved in targeting a weak student over social media. To conclude, there is no doubt that the technological advances have been helping forces to prevent crime and maintain law and order. But because of the advent of a new genre of crimes over the internet, the decrease in crime rate is no where to be seen.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Crime
is regarded
as the modern day cancer. The technological advancements are helping policemen to solve the criminal cases.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
believe that this should result in a decrease in rate of unlawful acts.
However
, I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
committing an unlawful act has become easier
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
well.

In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
times, the law enforcement forces are using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multiple
hi-tech gadgets to maintain law and order in the country.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multiple
streets and shopping areas have
been installed
with surveillance cameras to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. Even if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is committed
, then the footage from these cameras
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the policemen to solve the cases.
For example
, the facial recognition
Possible spelling mistake found.
softwares
from Google,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
down the criminals.
Similarly
, if a person is using a smartphone, it has become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy to find their whereabouts, using the maps and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
location.

On the contrary
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's cyber world is prone to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multiple
cyber
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. All a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
guy needs is a computer, then they can commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multiple
unlawful activities such as phishing, identity theft,
This word is normally spelled as one.
cyber bullying
, etc. As an example, cyber-crook may gain access to credit card or internet banking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
of an innocent person and then can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
transactions in someone else's name.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Teenagers
are
also
getting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by a new world of
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
. There have been
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multiple
instances where a crooked group of students has
been involved
in targeting a weak student over social media.

To conclude
, there is no doubt that the technological advances have been helping forces to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and maintain law and order.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the advent of a new genre of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
over the internet, the decrease in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate is
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
no
where to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay The crime rate nowadays is decreasing compared to the past due to advances in technology which can prevent and solve crime. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts