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The crime rate by young people can be reduced by teaching parents parenting skills. Do you agree or disagree

The crime rate by young people can be reduced by teaching parents parenting skills. 1V6mX
In recent times, crimes committed by the young generation is increasing at an alarming rate. It is often argued by some people that bad parenting is the major cause of the problem and parents should acquire good parenting skills. However, I completely disagree with the aforementioned statement and will discuss the same in this essay. To commence with, the primary reason for the increase in the crime rate among teenagers is the influence of social media, and survival games. Most importantly, students tend to copy things from their action heroes in movies rather than their parents. Alcohol consumption and smoking are considered great and glorious deeds by youngsters because they believe that these habits can make them Superheroes like their role models. For instance, survival video games like pubg and San Andreas can make young minds crueller when they are addicted to them. Many news reports recently show the after-effects of these games in young children. Secondly, the absence of strict laws and punishment make the young generation fearless. Although there are Juvenile courts and Juvenile homes in every country, the punishment for minor criminals only exists for 6 months to 1 year. Therefore, young people start from small crimes and gradually becomes a notorious criminal. A perfect example of this is the Nirbhaya case in Delhi where the minor culprit got released after six months of imprisonment. Even though parenting can influence a child's behaviour all these above-mentioned things can increase the Juvenile crime rate. In conclusion, reducing juvenile crime by teaching parents good parenting skills is not an effective method because it cannot reduce the exposure of the young generation to social media. Strict laws are the best way to overcome this detrimental issue.
In recent times,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
committed by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation is increasing at an alarming rate. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
is the major cause of the problem and parents should acquire
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
However
, I completely disagree with the aforementioned statement and will discuss the same in this essay.

To commence with, the primary reason for the increase in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
is the influence of social media, and survival games. Most
importantly
, students tend to copy things from their action heroes in movies
rather
than their parents. Alcohol consumption and smoking
are considered
great and glorious deeds by youngsters
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they believe that these habits can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them Superheroes like their role models.
For instance
, survival video games like
Possible spelling mistake found.
pubg
and San Andreas can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
minds
Possible spelling mistake found.
crueller
when they
are addicted
to them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
news reports recently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the after-effects of these games in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
children.

Secondly
, the absence of strict laws and punishment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation fearless. Although there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Juvenile
courts and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Juvenile
homes in every country, the punishment for minor criminals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
exists for 6 months to 1 year.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
and
gradually
becomes a notorious criminal. A perfect example of this is the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nirbhaya
case in Delhi where the minor culprit
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
released after six months of imprisonment.
“Even though” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
can influence a child's
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
all these above-mentioned things can increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Juvenile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate.

In conclusion
, reducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
juvenile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
by teaching parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
is not an effective method
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the exposure of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation to social media. Strict laws are the best way to overcome this detrimental issue.
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IELTS essay The crime rate by young people can be reduced by teaching parents parenting skills.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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