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Studying abroad is the most important step in career development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Studying abroad is the most important step in career development. JKXQD
Some people think that to get an education in foreign country is the main factor in career growth. Personally, although I accept that tuition in abroad is an essential factor for getting better career, I believe that other considerations are no less important, either. It goes without saying that studying abroad is vital in order for people to increase worldview and get some languages in outer country which will be sufficient in their future career. Staying in that countries can give many benefits to people like how to co-operate, behave with foreigners at the same time recognize new work conditions and work skills which will be efficient for career rising. In addition, to learn any language would be much easier instead of learning in your native country that of language. For instance, English is one of the most spoken languages which people spend many months to learn. So it is clear that to have an education can open a path to the career development. However, I believe that other factors are just as important as studying abroad. One of them is high intelligent. People can get better results on their work place with using literacy to solving some problems at work. Another factor is training courses which arrange the numerous lessons for people that relating to work skills. In conclusion, while studying abroad is essential factor to develop career. I do not believe that it is outweighs all other motivators because people can get good results with using other arguments.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
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people
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think
that to
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get
an education in foreign
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country
is the main
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factor
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
growth.
Personally
, although I accept that tuition in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
is an essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
for getting better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
considerations are no less
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, either.

It goes without saying that studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
is vital in order for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to increase worldview and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
in outer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
which will be sufficient in their future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
. Staying in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like how to co-operate, behave with foreigners at the same time recognize new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
conditions and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which will be efficient for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
rising.
In addition
, to learn any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
would be much easier
instead
of learning in your native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
.
For instance
, English is one of the most spoken
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
months to learn.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that to have an education can open a path to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
development.

However
, I believe that
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other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
. One of them is high intelligent.
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People
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better results on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
place with using literacy to solving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
is training courses which arrange the numerous lessons for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that relating to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

In conclusion
, while studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
is essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
to develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
. I do not believe that it is outweighs all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
motivators
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
results with using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
arguments.
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IELTS essay Studying abroad is the most important step in career development.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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